If I Could Mend Your Heart

This is perhaps one of the best books I have read on grief and loss. It is short, simple and speaks to the heart. It offers a calming reassurance that all those things we are truly feeling as we embark on this uninvited journey are as they need to be. Perhaps one of the most treasured gifts we can offer is that of a listening presence, no judgment, no quick fixes and the willingness to hold that sacred place where one can go to heal on all levels. What I have discovered and what this book confirms are those times when a hug, a listening ear, a touch on the shoulder mean so much more than the most eloquent of words that are generally stated because of a deep discomfort of the one offering them. Give your loved one this book instead and it will speak to what is in your heart and find a way to theirs.

I have given Mary Farr's book to a number of friends and relatives who have lost a loved one. I think it speaks to the sorrow, and the angiush of death. Some friends have told me how much it meant to them in the days and months following their loss.

This was given to me after I lost a loved one and was so comforting. It really speaks to the emotions and thoughts of early grief. I order these in bulk now, and as a hospice nurse I will pass along a copy to those family members who I feel would benefit.

Loss is a lifetime companion, though a topic that most of us feel uncomfortable discussing. This is especially true when a friend experiences a loss -- a shattered marriage, a serious illness, loss of a job, or even a death. We awkwardly offer consolation, impossible platitudes, and sometimes say nothing at all, because we just don't seem to know the most helpful words. This book reveals an authenticity that can come only from someone who has truly listened to those who have had their hearts broken. It respects another's heartbreak without offering simplistic solutions or outrageous theological directives. It allows readers to feel their feelings without having to "fix" them or put on a brave front. It's the kind of book you want to keep on a night table or in your purse to read over and over again. I highly recommend this book as a source of wisdom to keep for yourself or share with another. It is suitable for countless occasions when we feel helplessly short of consoling words but want to be a compassionate presence to another.