I Want to Change But I Don't Know How!

I read this book back in the 80's and still remember its concepts. One of the ideas that stood out to me is that you don't have to be what you have been told you are or even what you think you are. We have many choices but they have been limited by focusing on one way of being. This usually starts in childhood when parents see us one way and the image grows until we believe that's what we are. The book has some great techniques to get you moving if you feel you're stuck in the same old pattern. The authors speak in a very honest, forthright manner and their words seem to jump from the page. This book gets you in touch with feelings and gets you moving. Highly recommend.

Never have I read or listened to a better self help book. The authors get right down to the basics, before people ever heard of Dr. Phil. I am a Psychologist, and I recommend to all my patients to read this book!!! Message to Oprah - Get the authors on your show!!!

The suggestions, techniques, and growth-tasks in this book are exceptional. The book has changed my life, and would change it even more if I was willing to let it. You know that saying about how "when the student is ready..." ? If you're ready, this book is a damn good teacher. Here's the downside: the two writers are very different, and one is sarcastic, overly-aggressive, and a big turn-off. The other is reasonable and presents his views in a neutral manner. It's impossible to tell which writer is which, but the one who writes the scenes with dialogue should back off. Aside from that, I can say that I'm no fan of self-help books, but I am a fan of this one. It's insightful, powerful, and effective.

A poor self image, trapped by repressions from my childhood, failed relationships, therapy, unsuccessful attempts to save my marriage and finally a devastating separation. My life was being destroyed. I knew something had to change but, I had no idea I was the problem and that I was holding all the answers. I did not like who I was or what I was doing to others. Loving myself was a foreign concept. The exercise in front of the mirror was a very emotional experience that started the process of bringing down walls. As I read on I gained an understanding of past behavior and how these patterns had been the root of my problems. I realized I had spent my life feeling depressed, lonely and sorry for myself. It's no wonder my wife started distancing herself from me. I still have a long road ahead of me but now I know that I can break away from what and who I was. When I find myself slipping back I listen to my 'inner selves' and frequently ask, where did that come, and 'we' talk. I haven't felt this good about myself in my entire life. My wife has noticed a change, we are still separated, and seeing the same therapist. We have 22 years of damagae to repair. Your book is my roadmap to a destination I have been searching out for my entire adult life. You have given us hope. Thank you.