I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape

This is a must-read for all rape survivors. It uses personal experience, as well as research and the stories of other survivors to convey the fight to mentally survive the after shock of being raped by a person she knows. I must say that I did read all of the reviews of this book and I am completely disgusted with the review of Nathan J. Yoder. He believes that sexual coercion is not rape. Nagging and abusing power in order to force a female to have intercourse is STILL rape. She does NOT want to have sex with the person and this man should be ashamed of himself for writing something this stupid. He believes that this rape survivor wrote a sexist novel. Before this idiotice person writes any additional reviews, he should research rape and what qualifies as rape. In conclusion, this novel was one of the best that I have ever read since my experience. I believe that all women who are assaulted should read this novel. Bravo.

I have recently been molested by someone I thought to be my best friend. Yes, I am starting this off this way because this is important for people to know when reading reviews for this kind of book. Now when scrolling down to read the reviews for this book I noticed this top one titled "Misandrist Feminist Propaganda" by Nathan J. Yoder. Well Nathan, your response to this book is so callous and rude that I cannot even begin to collect my thoughts as orderly as I like. Your comments are so horribly insensitive that I can only be led to believe that you yourself have coerced someone into having sex with you. Let me tell you this. If the person that you are propositioning sex from says no even once and you continue, it is still rape. And the horribly stupid comment you left at te end of your review: "Of course, when a man is drunk, the principle never applies because it's an anti-male principle." This is also not true. If ANYONE has unwanted sexual contact, whether it be male or female, whether they are drunk or sober, IT IS NOT OKAY. There is NO justification and no excuses! That is, unless you are trying to convince yourself that what you did wasn't wrong, like the man that molested me. I suggest that anyone who is sufferering from something that has happened to them like this should read this book, it is helping me far more than I can imagine and so is speaking out about the wrongdoing. Men can learn from this book too. It's not just for women. Men can learn that this kind of thing is NOT OKAY and that if it has happened to them it is not their fault. What happened to me was not my fault. He broke my trust. I am well loved. The people around me love me very much. This is the mantra that everyone who has suffered such trauma should tell themselves. It has helped me so much and I have only been reciting it for a day. Read this book. Period. These kinds of things need to be covered in school. Education is what will help reduce what is happening. Learn from what happened. Learn and go on living your lives. What happened to me was not my fault. He broke my trust. I am well loved. The people around me love me very much.

I have worked as a clinical social worker and a school psychologist, have done a lot of work with child sexual abuse victims and some work with teen and adult rape victims. This is an excellent book for the general reader; it uses a research base but does not use statistical or research jargon. All teens, male or female, could benefit from reading this book, hopefully before they are in crisis or specific need of it. High school health or communication classes could use it. Adults will find it equally useful. Helpful ideas to improve the odds of prevention (no one can guarantee one's safety from rape), signs to help you realize when your companion may not be safe, helping yourself or a friend get through having had the experience of rape by an acquaintance, why men also benefit from understanding this information, and much more.

This book was an essential part of my early recovery process. As a survivor of relationship violence and rape in my adolescence, I never knew how to characterize it, what to call it. As a teenager, the "R" word seemed to be too imposing -- but the actual experiences were far more imposing than the language; indeed, the language and the naming of the unspeakable experience made it possible to finally confront it. Like Herman's "Trauma and Recovery," this book presented examples which helped me to understand that I was not alone in this process, nor was I losing my mind. My own responses of self-blame, depression, and anger could be understood in terms of my coping with the assault. I wish that we lived in a world where there would be no need for such a report as Ms. Warshaw's; given that we don't, I am very thankful for it.

As a survivor of sexual assault, this book was a Godsend while I was emotionally prepairing for my university judicial hearing as well as my show-cause hearing in district. As a survivor herself, Ms.Warshaw must have known the importance of including the stories of other survivors in her book. It was by reading about people like my self and other survivors can comprehend what we might go through and that we are not alone. However, there are still some people who decided that they wanted to try and disprove the point that rape and sexual assault hurts women in ways that people who have not survived a sexual assault could possabily understand. In this new addition, Ms. Warshaw puts her detractors(and they KNOW who they are)to shame by not only providing an awesome counter argument, but by using Real Facts obtained in a Scientific Study. These are some of the things that her detractors did not do.