I Don't Need a Baby to Be Who I Am: Thoughts and Affirmations on a Fulfilling Life

If you are looking for a how to book on infertility, look elsewhere. If you are looking for sympathy, look elsewhere. But if you are looking for empathy, an infertility survivor that is here to tell you that you can live happily, infertily ever after, this is the book for you. And so this book was for me, someone who loves kids and always thought I'd have them but fate had other plans. Every time I read a book on infertility that ended with the woman getting pregnant afterall, it made me a little sick inside. Where was I in these books? There is a book called Accepting Infertility, surely that should have been for me, but nope, happy baby ending in that one too. All they did was confirm the cruelty that said IF you REALLY wanted a child you'd have one, you'd keep trying or you would adopt. Why hadn't anyone who didn't get the fairy tale write a book, enter Joan Brady. Joan Brady gets it and transcends the cruelty of society by telling women like her, like us, that it's okay, we all have something to contribute to this life and it does not have to be a genetic likeness, all while admitting that she loves and wanted children, was envious at times and was feeling everything I and other woman like me have felt but finally had to come to terms with it and choose not to be a tragic figure, to be pitied, but instead, an outstanding woman who has so much to give to the world. Thank you Joan. This book was for me.

Joan and I worked together for a few years back in the 70's in NJ and what a wonderful woman she was and still is. She does adore children and I feel that she has captured it in the book. She conveys that you can suceed in life as a woman whether you have children or not. She doesn't want you to go through life with any regrets whatever your decision is. This book is warm and refreshing. I cried throughout many passages, yes maybe because I know her personaly but because of her writing ability to bring the reader there. She brings you a good feeling and leaves you with a better one. This is truly one of Joan's many great books. She is an extremely talented author with many other titles you should read. I am TRULY blessed that I know her and have been part of her life. She was an inspiring nurse to work with and a great friend. She has left a legacy that will go unforgotten.

The title of the book immediately caught my mind. As a mid-thirties single woman, I am constantly aware that my time to find a husband and have children is running out. It is easy to get depressed over this. However, this book is like a bible. I read it whenever I start to feel sad. Joan has empowered me with the idea that even if I don't get married and raise a family, I can still lead a rewarding and loving life. She writes about her journey to happiness beautifully. I encourage all single women to read this book. You'll no longer feel sorry for yourself or feel jealouly towards married friends with children. I look forward to the next book by Joan Brady.

Joan Brady says in this book she never had a child because she never met "Mr. Right"...I met Mr. Right, but not Mr. Bank Account. Feeling it was wrong to have a child I could not financially support, I really respect and admire Ms. Brady's moral decision not to have a child without a father. In the darkest moments of my child-less depression, this book lifted me up and gave me a positive outlook on my life as it is. This book does not bash those who can or do become parents like so many others I looked at. Neither does it feature one who didn't want kids, but someone just like me who wanted to, could have, but didn't and had all those same feelings about that difficult decision that I did. Thank-you Joan. I will recommend this book to many others who can not, or choose not to have children for whatever reason.

The title caught my eye when I first saw it on the shelf. I knew I had to read it, becuase I have been feeling depressed lately about not being able to have children of my own due to a chronic genetic illness. Joan Brady brings her thoughts into the limelight. It really helps me to know that there is another woman out there who does not have children. Ms. Brady brings a delicate subject in our society into the open, and she gives women who don't have children a voice.