I Do But I Don't: Walking Down the Aisle Without Losing Your Mind

Whether you're single, married, or anything in between, "I Do, But I Don't," is a must-read for anyone who's ever wondered how modern women have come so far, yet are still caught in archaic roles when it comes to how they marry. Like a smart memoir should, Wicoff's book transported me back to my own wedding days and the conflicted feelings I had all the way through. I can't wait to see what Wicoff is up to next.

What a fantastic book to read if you are thinking about marriage! Ms. Wicoff's mix of personal stories and original research about the wedding industry make the book a fascinating and entertaining read. I Do or I Don't changed the way I thought about a proposal, engagement, and a wedding. I am doing things now that fit with my values as a modern, independent woman, and not against them. My fiance and I are equal partners in the process - both of us proposed; both of us will plan the event; either both or neither of us wil walk down the aisle. Ms. Wicoff's book made me reaize the importance of doing things like this that fit us and our values. Without the book I probably would have let tradition carry me along with it, instead of creating our own meaningful ways to be engaged and married.

An article in the Chicago Sun-Times exclaimed how couples remain in debt for years and years after their marriage and recommended this book for further thoughts. My fiance actually gave me the article and wrote a little note 'get this for me'. I thought it was kind of strange that he wanted a bride book, but he loved it. So, naturally, I had to purchase it. Not only did my wedding cost $12,000 less than what I had originally anticipated, but people are STILL talking about how much fun they had. I recommend this book to anyone that has ever thought about doing something 'different' with their wedding or wondered where to cut corners. The author speaks of her wedding and what she did wrong - then went out and interviewed other brides-to-be as well as newlyweds and figured out where they went wrong and how they could have saved money. I loved it.

Funny, erudite, scholarly and entertaining, this is a must-read for brides-to-be or those who want to understand why we do the things we do when it comes to getting married. I walked down the aisle over 10 years ago, and I did lose my mind. Reading this book convinced me it doesn't have to be that way -- that every moment that a couple in a committed relationship moves towards marriage can be meaningful, enjoyable and filled with love, instead of the angst the typical American engagement & wedding usually produces in bride, groom, family and friends. Brides-to-be: read this book and keep yourself from going nuts. Already-marrieds: read this book and come to terms with what you experienced.

This is a beautifully written and enormously important book. I read it thinking: Thank god someone has finally spoken to this immense, tangled topic and done it so intelligently, interestingly and just plain well. I also read it thinking of all the people I immediately wanted to send it to. Wicoff offers clear-headed ways of looking at our culture, the wedding industry and our relationships. I can't think of a more valuable gift for engaged couples--though they're hardly its only audience. Any thoughtful person interested in considering modern society's approaches to marriage, weddings and our relationships--what we think and do, why we think and do it, and is it time for a change--will appreciate this witty, intelligent and candid writer's efforts.