I Can Share: A Lift-The-Flap Book

I wanted to love this book because we have the Katz potty book and it hits the mark. When i read this with my 4 yr old though i felt like the lessons it taught didn't really capture the concept of sharing. "You can't play with my friend, but we can play together" is one lesson. But as far as I'm concerned, we don't own people, and someone else can absolutely play with "your" friend. This idea of "you can't have my thing but we can use it together" or "I'll get you another one" undermines what I'm trying to teach my kids about sharing.

My 18 month old likes other karen katz books, but this one was just not good. with the flaps being the entire page it doesn't make it fun for her to lift up and i frankly think the "sharing" message is not well executed

My kids love these books, which is why I gave it a 5 stars. I personally do not think that this book is about sharing per se. The characters in thebook do not really share anything. "This is my snack and you can not have it....but I will give you your own." This is not really sharing in my opinion. The storyline is easy to follow and the characters are bright and engaging. The kids love the lift the flaps and repeatedly ask to read the book. I just wish the book was truely about two kids "sharing" things instead of working together each with their own toy or snack.

My 2 year old daughter had some difficulty sharing. I believe she felt once the toy was "shared" it was leaving forever. After reading this book many many times she seemed to grasp the notion that the toy was still hers. She willingly shared after and took much pride in her ability to hand things over. It is still a work in progress. If another child grabs for something she has, naturally her instinct is to pull it back. I do not want her to develop the idea sharing means you let other kids take anything they want from her. However, I can diffuse the battle much easier by making suggestions of how we can share. As a mom the book also helped me become more creative in finding alternatives rather than trying to force her to give up a toy.

My husband and I totally disagree with the negative reviews of this book. We investigated numerous approaches to sharing and liked this the best. Many child development experts agree that sharing involves compromise and taking turns. A child does not have to give up a toy he/she is playing with just because another child demands it. Life does not work that way. We don't see adults giving up their "toys" when another adult wants to take them. Sharing is not about giving up one's things - it is about taking turns and offering alternatives.

This book was amazing! My 2 1/2 year old being an only child, was having some difficulty sharing. This is also a common trait during development. We read this book together over 20 times when it arrived, she loved it and it always wanted to read it. She memorized the book in a week and would read the book to me and my partner. Now, when a moment arises and it is time to share, she will say "this is my pail and you cant have it...but maybe we can share and you can use this pail instead". It is so great to know that the book did work, I would reccomend this book for all parents to purchase for a child or as a gift. MS. J Devine

I believe it was Magda Gerber (author of Your Self-Confident Baby and infant educator in Los Angeles, RIE.org) who said that young children need to OWN before they can share. Often, well-meaning parents of toddlers, trying to teach good manners, expect/encourage/demand/force sharing because it's "polite" and they are afraid (in part) of being judged by other parents. They do not want to look like permissive wimps, so they cheerfully take the toy away from their child (who is not done with it) and hand it over to the child asking, and remind their child they need to share. There is a reason preschools have 8 shovels, 6 baby dolls, etc. There would be fighting and tears going on all the time if they did not. Even in the Montessori classroom children use a mat to do their work on. The mat delineates * their * personal space and their right to it. Other children can ask if they can work with them (share) and the child has the right to say yes or (a polite) no, thank you. To take away the toy (work) from the first child, who is still busy exploring it, teaches what exactly? That we need to share? Yes we do, but there are ways to do it without causing problems. It honors the child playing with the toy when you acknowledge her. "No, she is playing with that right now. What else would you like?" "When he is finished playing with it, it will be your turn." The beauty of this book is that it illustrates conflict resolution techniques for children (and parents). When there is a conflict, you can ask children to think of three solutions. This is pretty impossible to ask of toddlers, but you can ask it of older children. It does help diffuse the situation. With practice, it also helps children see that they can solve problems for themselves (rather than continually be caught in a conflict with one winner and one loser.) In every scenario shown in Katz's book, a solution is suggested ("But maybe...") and all the children feel good and included in the play (an accomplishment in itself), rather than seething over a toy that was handed over unfairly. (If you are wondering why your child might be having unprovoked tantrums later in the day, for no obvious reason, look back in their day when they felt they were treated unfairly. Resentment and anger build up and eventually come out in inappropriate venues.) New doll - have this one instead (that way, children play alongside peacefully.) Only 1 bike - 2 children want it - child takes the one for a ride (again, children share the toy/experience.) Only 1 shovel - instead, they build a castle together (OK, forget the shovel for now. What else can we do together? A-ha, build together! Problem solved!) Only 1 box of raisins - another box is provided for the child asking (So yeah, they ARE sharing the raisins!) Problem solved. My friend! You can't play with her! (How does one "share" a friend?) "But maybe... we can ALL play dress-up!" Brilliant!!!!! So now no one is left out and feeling