How You Feel Is Up to You: The Power of Emotional Choice

Dr. Gary McKay and Dr. Don Dinkmeyer are practicing psychologists who have co-authored several books. How You Feel Is Up To You: The Power Of Emotional Choice is their latest offering, in which they teach readers how to gain control of their feelings. They say their book "is designed to help you gain control over your strong unpleasant emotions--guilt, anger, depression, stress, anxiety--and increase your joy and happiness. The doctors first discuss emotions, explaining how and why they're created. They then show how negative emotions can be replaced with positive feelings like joy and happiness. The trick is in learning how to change your thinking. Five basic principles are the key to changing the way you think. First you must learn to accept your feelings and yourself, then remind yourself to live in the present, rather than the past. Thirdly, you need to recognize the purpose of negative feelings. Then you need to become aware of your thoughts, and finally, develop a plan for change. Each of these principles is fully discussed, with detailed instructions and exercises for incorporating them into your life. Self-discovery exercises are sprinkled throughout the book, to help guide you through the steps. The doctors also provide real-life examples from their privatepractices. McKay and Dinkmeyer say that "choice is powerful; it sets you free." They explain that "while you may be able to do little or nothing about a change that results from external circumstances in your life, you can decide how you will respond. Your response is in your control." They offer practical help in learning how to gain control of your responses, so that you can choose your emotions. Readers who are tired of anger, depression, guilt, and all the other familiar negative emotions will find How You Feel Is Up To You an effective teacher of the skills they need for making healthier and happier choices. Sandra I. Smith

I am a marriage and family therapist and I highly recommend this book. It is the best book on managing emotions and putting the individual in control. Particularly the chapter on anger was incredibly useful and gives the skills to transform a person who feels any emotions (ie. anger, depression, anxiety, etc.) are out of balance. I have recommended this book to many of my clients and have witnessed dramatic results as a result of them using these principles. Rick A. Jass, MA