How You Can Survive When They're Depressed: Living and Coping with Depression Fallout

I've learnt so much about depression from this book. Coping strategies, what medications are available and how they work, and their side-effects, and most importantly that I'm not alone in this. This book has given me tremendous insight. In these pages, I discovered that my husband did not have unipolar depression, as we thought, but atypical depression, which is treated differently. It has given me hope, and inspired me to search for all the possible solutions. The book is also well-written and very easy to read, as opposed to many other books on the subject, some of which were so technical that it put me to sleep. Thank you, Anne Sheffield, for truly making a difference in my marriage.

There are a zillion books out there about depression, and I'd bet nearly all of them are being bought by people who are desperately trying to help someone they love. "Here Honey, it says if you eat right..." and "Sweetie, they say exercise can do a lot of good..." and "Mom, there are a lot of medicines now that could help you..."People who love a depressed person spend an enormous amount of energy trying to bridge a chasm to bring help to their loved one. Meanwhile they suffer isolation, rejection, critisism, self-doubt, frustration, and terrible worry and stress. Worse, every book they read urges them to put all their needs aside, to lower their standards to rock bottom, to be continually more understanding of their loved-ones limitations. Often they're not even mentioned at all.Anne Sheffield's book is a fantastic support and relief for these caregivers. She acknowleges the toll this illness takes on family members, and she offers them compassion and a sense of community. By respecting their frustration, she helps open the door to a more constructive sort of understanding of depressive illness and how it affects the family.This book has helped me build a life with my depressed partner that is healthy for us both, a place where I can deal with this illness without giving up my happiness. It has helped me trust my instincts, set boundaries, campaign for change and keep my love alive even when I'm angry. Through me, it has helped my partner seek better medical help, treat the family better and feel more secure that we'll still be there tomorrow.If your hunt for answers has left you feeling like you're out in the cold alone, this book is for you.

The American Psychiatric Association, in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, offers the "official" list of symptoms of depression.Anne Sheffield makes a significant contribution to the field of mental health when she spells out the "unofficial" list of symptoms: the "clinical" presentation of a depressive disorder is not necessarily the same as the "behind closed doors" presentation.In his Foreword, TV journalist Mike Wallace (who is open about his own depression) acknowledges that "there is no way properly to describe the anguish that a depressive can put his family through." Anne Sheffield points out that the depressed person may be self-absorbed, quarrelsome, and critical at home "but charming in public."While depression is often thought of as deep sadness, the author debunks the stereotype of people with depressive illness as "passive bundles of misery." There are some people with depression who do fit that description, but depression comes in varying degrees and with different combinations of symptoms (both official and "unofficial"). Many of us who have lived with a depressive have seen that a generalized negativity may be much more prominent than any sadness, and that the negativity is often targeted at us.A must-read for anyone who knows a loved one has depression, for those who suspect a loved one might have it, and for doctors and other clinicians who would do well to learn how to recognize some of the more subtle forms of depression, which can be just as devastating as the "passive bundle of misery" form of the disorder.

Run, don't walk, to get a copy of Anne Sheffield's book "How You Can Survive When They're Depressed: Living and Coping with Depression Fallout." Sheffield offers insights, suggestions, and information that will help you immediately -- from how to ensure that the person you love gets the best possible care to protecting yourself from the debilitating effects the illness has on you, the loved one or caregiver. I now keep this book at my bedside and read it again and again. It has become my "handbook" for coping, and I've sent it to a number of friends who can't thank me enough. Why? Because Sheffield addresses the profoundly disruptive nature of depression and manic-depression, both as they affect the sufferer and the sufferer's family, friends and loved ones. She covers virtually every aspect of the problems faced my loved ones of someone with a depressive illness. Despite the fact that those of us dealing with this illness on a day-by-day basis are often exhausted, heartbroken, demoralized, resentful, and angry, Sheffield's book gives hope in the form of clear and incisive information, insight and advice. And all this she does with admirable and welcome good humor, compassion, intelligence and grace. Sheffield knows whereof she speaks, having grown up with a depressive mother. She has done her research well, spending countless hours with other family and friends of people suffering from mood disorders. Their stories will sound familiar to you; their descriptions of solutions and coping skills will be invaluable. Sheffield addresses the symptoms of depression and manic-depression and provides information on medications, side effects, and how to find the best possible medical help for a loved one. This alone is a real service to family members and loved ones, but Sheffield goes one giant step further by providing advice and techniques on taking care of yourself, something I have not yet encountered in any other book on this subject. This book is an invaluab! le resource. Not only is it filled with important and useful information regarding diagnoses and treatments, it provides concrete steps for maximizing your own life in the face of your loved one's illness. Don't miss it!

An insightful and helpful book for those who have ever lived with a depressed person. Through case studies and research, Sheffield shares the pain of many who have suffered at the hands of depressed people. This book helps one to understand the guilt and horror one feels when living and coping with a depressed loved one. In addition to realizing that what I felt was not only acceptable, I realized that I was not alone in my feelings. Moreover, Sheffield gives real advice that leads to solutions. I learned to better understand my depressed partner, but also to recognize the effects that their depression was having on me. This book should be read by everyone, it has relevance far beyond the pair imprisoned by a depressive. It has helped identify and explain people's behavior outside the discussed relationships.