How to Kill Your Girlfriend's Cat Again

Not a real "How to kill cats" book but more of along the imaginative ways of "I wish I could kill cats this way." For example, putting the kitty in front of Titanic (like what Leonardo DiCaprio did) and... ooops, it slips and drowns in the ocean. Like the first book, it's got great illustrations, though a bit too wordy for my taste. If you like this genre of books, you must get the classic "The Official I Hate Cats Book" and "The Second Official I Hate Cats Book" by Skip Morrow. They're more like The Far Side style, with a lot less words, and a lot funnier and more creative. Another book called "101 Uses for a Dead Cat" by Simon Bond isn't as well drawn, but the ideas are much better which makes it pretty funny.

There have been many a day when my girlfriend's cat tried to kill me. About a month ago I walked from my girlfriend's living room to use the restroom. As I stepped onto the mat outside of the bathroom door I head and felt a strange click under my foot. Having seen many war movies and bad 70's TV shows I expected the worst. With my foot still pressed down, I carefully lifted up the side of the pink fuzzy mat to see a crudely built land mine. If I attempted to lift my foot I would be blown up. Upon closer examination of this deadly device I noticed an unusual amount of cat hair. I looked up and saw my girlfriend's cat glance at me and then scurry off. Soon the cat returned with a plate of fresh brownies. Wow they smelled good. I was almost tempted to step off the land mine and get blasted beyond recognition. But I suddenly realized that was all part of the cat's plan. Using an ingenious method, I managed to escape. As a matter of survival I purchased "How to Kill Your Girlfriend's Cat Again" I tried all the techniques in the book only to have every one of them backfire on me. My girlfriend's cat also managed to drain my bank account, frame me for arson and get me thrown in jail. I am currently writing this review from the library of the state penitentiary without permission.