How to Deal With Your Acting-Up Teenager: Practical Help for Desperate Parents

My ex-wife and I read this book almost 20 years ago, when our two kids were teenagers. Our daughter, the eldest, was acting up (and out)--breaking curfew, staying out, experimenting with different substances, generally going through a volatile adolescence--normal "individuating," it turned out (thank God), but it was driving her mother and me crazy because we lived apart and both worked full-time. Two employed adults are no match for one teenager intent on getting her way. We were at the end of our tethers trying to keep tabs on her. Somehow we found out about HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ACTING UP TEENAGER. We both read it, decided it made sense and was worth a try, and had a family meeting with both our kids. We told them we wanted to try a new way of parent-kid relations that basically boiled down to, mutual respect. When we told them we were going to stop trying to control them--ground them, harass them about schoolwork and grades, etc.--they looked at us suspiciously. Was this some kind of trick? Some sort of parental sting operation? No, no, we assured them, we were on the level. And it worked. Our daughter stopped driving us crazy, we stopped driving her crazy, and relations improved. I can say unequivocally that this is the only self-help book that has ever actually helped me (and I've read a few). I recommend it without qualification. The authors, as I recall, were parents themselves as well as psychologists, and brought both their practical and academic experience to bear. Bless them both. I still tell people about this book when I hear about problems with adolescence, and am glad it's still available.

With Drugs, drinking, staying out and verbal abuse constant problems with my son (not to mention school absence and failures, theft from the house etc.) I was at my ropes end. This book and it's methods not only saved me and gave me a new outlook on the issues, but helped me to deal with the important issues first and to help my son to turn around which he did willingly almost all on his own in about 2 months of time using the methods in this book. 7 years later my 15 year old son is giving me trouble, I dusted off the book and within a day we both had new attitudes and ways of dealing with each other to respect both our needs! I highly recommend this book and approach. It allows you to grow up independent, respectful young adults and keep your sanity too! Regain your life and find some peace. Good luck and good reading!

I was fortunate to read this book when my son was only 9 years old. If you have a child who is anywhere from 7 to 17 stop everything and READ THIS BOOK. It will save you hours of agonizing thoughts about how to deal with your child so he takes responsibility and you end up doing a good job of parenting.The advice really works. Many thanks to the authors.

When my teenager seemed to be going off the deep end and our home life was almost unbearable, I went to my city's largest bookstore, skimmed alot of titles, and bought four or five books. I sampled quite a range, from "control your child and don't take no for an answer" to "tough love" to "understanding adolescence" to this wonderful book, which was the only one that in the end really made sense to me, and WORKED. I learned things from the other books but this is the one that was deeply grounded in reality (and, more than most, in scientific knowledge), wasn't trying to suck me into a movement or a religion, wasn't trying to make me or my children behave the way other people thought we should behave, and wasn't just another slick attempt to make money off of desperate parents. I won't tell you what the main messages are because you really need to go through the process of reading the book to get to a place where some of these messages make sense. I'll just say that my son's behavior changed dramatically, that our home life (and my personal life) went from a negative 8 to a plus 8, and that I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm proud of my son and now take great pleasure seeing him grow and explore. I also trust him