How to Control Your Anger Befo

This book has certainly helped me overcome my anxiety. A must read for anyone suffering with anxiety disorders but do not want to succumb to medications.

When I started college I was a complete and utter anxious ship-wreck. I couldn't sleep, think straight, and felt like I was going to lose my mind. Basic daily tasks suddenly became terrifying or anxiety provoking. It was a scary and exhausting time for me. On the edge, I went to see my school counselor. She recommended I read Ellis's books and his Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy style. I have to admit, I expected very little. Honestly, I felt like she had passed the buck and gave me a book instead of helping me. However, I was desperate and would have tried anything short of an exorcism to feel better. I read his first book, "A new guide to rational living." (I would recommend reading that book before this one, it gives more background. This book is still good, too.) I was astonished. Within a few weeks, I legitimately felt noticeably better. Nearly two years later, I can honestly say his books changed my life and multiple friends and family members who have borrowed my books. It takes time and won't happen all at once. As Ellis would say, you spent a life time learning how to be anxious, and can't undo that in a day. It took me about a year to get much better, two years to completely change my life, and three to be an entirely new person. I am deeply saddened that Ellis died recently. I would have loved to thank him for completely overhauling my life and making me a much happier, outgoing, and less anxious person. Now, I plan to study abroad in a foreign country. This is something the old me could have never handled. PS. Dr Ellis is in fact a well respected psychologist. Even the great Beck recognizes his work. Ellis' work is based on his empirical studies with real patients he counseled throughout his long career. His stuff is not Dr.Phil style non-sense like "You're like a shoe with no strings," or the ever classic Dr.Phil statement "get over it!" I hate when people tease psychological books because Dr. Phil (and others like him) poisoned the entire genre. "Those" people are first and foremost entertainers. Dr.Ellis is real, and his work actually helps, but it takes time!!!

In order to take advantage of this book, you need to focus on the thoughts creating anger. That's the whole clue. The book won't tell you what to do with your emotions or feeling of anger because the whole point is thoughts create feelings, so change your thoughts and your feelings will also change by default. How do you change your thoughts? Read the book and you'll find out.

At the time I bought this book, I was unaware of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, had never heard of Dr. Albert Ellis, and wasn't really looking to solve any particular anxiety problem of my own. Always a fan of Dale Carnegie's "How to ..." instructional writings, I figured this would be a new perspective on a popular and important subject. What I learned was that Dr. Ellis has extensive experience (since 1943) in psychotherapy and actually devised REBT in 1955. Like Carnegie, he is quite good at putting his research and wisdom into books (more than sixty), and turning this knowledge into useful information for those who might be trying to solve a problem related to emotion and personality.To me, the most important part of REBT is "Rational," the exercise of thinking through what is causing anxiety, why your beliefs about it are unfounded (i.e., irrational) and unnecessary, and what you can do to convince yourself that anxiety can be lessened, if not eliminated, through a formulaic rational process. Throughout most of this book, Dr. Ellis clearly describes nearly twenty very specific methods for controlling anxiety. This was all new to me, but I found the methods to make total sense, and imagined that almost all of us could find any number of these helpful in addressing specific anxiety scenarios.The way in which Dr. Ellis sets forth the varying aspects of REBT is impressive. He's easy to read, and almost grandfatherly in his tone. Each method is portrayed first by explanation, then by documenting a real example using one of his psychotherapy patients. The last three chapters contain 231 "Rational Maxims" which sum up the main points of the methods discussed in detail earlier, and are written in the first person for us to recite when REBT enforcement is needed. Good idea! Some might find this book to be a little repetitive (therapy is like that), and thus may be better off with the abridged version. For someone new to REBT, I'm glad Dr. Ellis presented these methods in a comprehensive manner, and I'll always have the Rational Maxims for review on short order.

The authors present both an overall framework for controlling anger and a multitude of specific techniques you can use. This very practical book is written in a much more modern style than most of Ellis' previous books. If you want results and are willing to work for them, order this book--and start working. These methods work!