How to Be Your Own Best Friend: A Conversation With Two Psychoanalysts

I first bought this book after my divorce in 1975. It changed my life. It gave me permission to be good to ME. It convinced me that I deserved to be treated with respect by my friends and especially myself. I was able to say no to things I didn't want to do, and it showed me how to do it without being rude or obnoxcious. I could finally say "I picked up the pizza last time. How about someone else doing it this time?" and not feel guilty. I highly recommend it to anyone who said "Yes" when they really meant "No". I bought it for my step-daughter when she got divorced this year and she also said she got a lot out of it too.

It would be quite easy to mock at this little self - help work with statements like ' You'd better be your own best friend since no one else is ' but in fact this work is a valuable guide to increasing one's own self- esteem. The authors emphasize the importance of the individual valuing their own accomplishments, taking responsiblity for their own life, and using their freedom with wisdom. Berkowitz and Newman who are a married couple of psychotherapists present the work in a very simple and forthright manner, as a kind of conversation in which they answer questions about how to make a happy life. Their stress is on overcoming the routines of past failure and finding new ways to bring satisfaction into one's life. It is hard to quarrel with their prescription. To put it into practical effect, however, is I think for most of us the real problem and story.

One of my relatives is going through a divorce. I sent him a copy of this book, which I first read years ago. It makes an excellent gift book to both show concern and provide help for someone going through a hard or down time in life.

Someone gave me this book in 1975 when I was still a practicing alcoholic. I don't remember reading it then, but have read and re-read it many, many times since getting sober in 1984. What a great friend it has been! Any time I feel even a HINT of depression, I read this book and it is an immediate boost to my morale. I never fail to see something new in it. Also, for anyone wanting to read something broader in the same vein, I heartily recommend "Self Matters" by Dr. Phil McGraw, which follows the same theme of not believing the old tapes about your worthlessness but, instead, getting to know yourself because You're Worth It!

How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman, Bernard Berkowitz is a book that helped me to not only believe that I might be worth more respect and love than I was giving myself but to also see that deep, deep down within my soul I actually believed that I was capable of being more than I gave myself credit for. Reading this book was one of my first "baby steps" towards recovery from having grown up in a dysfunctional home. I believe what it has to say is just as revelant today as when I first read it 20-some years ago.