How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

I have not finished this book yet. I will update when I finish. So far it is about god wanting you to stay in your marriage. Although a lot of times working it out is good. She took it too far making excuses for abuse by saying you should stay and act better. So far the book is frustrating and depressing for those of us dealing with abusive husbands. I finished the book. It had a few goods points in the second half but is still largely excusing abuse. I would not recommend this book. If you are in an abusive relationship and looking for help I would recommend: 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft The Verbally abusive relationship By Patricia Evans Not to People Like Us By Susan Weitzman

I have read countless books on marriage, not because I have a hard marriage, just the opposite. I feel my marriage is worth all the effort I put into it and because our Enemy is always throwing those daggers at Christian marriages it never hurts to be encouraged by others. Leslie has written one of the best if not THE best book on marriage that I have ever read. It does not seem to be a book written through the human perspective it seems that all of her wisdom is God-given and Biblical in nature. You could almost think of her book as a bible study on acting right (at any time, not just in marriage)! She not only tells how to act right but why we should and how we will benefit and how our spouse will benefit. She does not promise that acting right will guarantee that your spouse will begin to act right also. That is not the issue. The issue is that we are in a marriage not for our felt needs she says but our real needs and what we really need is to learn to be more like Jesus. Sometimes our Lord uses tough things for our benefit and for us to grow spiritually. (There is always the hope and possibility tho that the more we act right our spouse will learn to act right also.) I highly recommend that anyone read this book, if you are married, engaged, dating a possible mate (aren't all dates possible mates) or just even want to learn how to respond to other people correctly. Thank you, Leslie for such a great book!

Leslie Vernick provides practical wisdom that can move you beyond the struggles and entanglements of your martial frustrations or woes toward new growth. This book is a must IF you want to do what is best for your marriage-- regardless of the decisions and choices of your spouse. Georgia Shaffer, PA Licensed Psychologist

Every husband and wife should read this book. Leslie's teaching is practical, as well as profound. For those who are "gutting it out" in their marriages, she offers help and hope, and even the best marriages could be improved by reading her book. Some of what she teaches that impacted me include the following:* FAIRNESS: "Most of us live under the illusion that life is fair--or at least should be. The illusion that marriage is fifty-fifty. I shouldn't have to give more than I get. This kind of wishful thinking will always keep us stuck in immaturity or resentment. Or both." * CHOICES: "Our choices reveal what we love the most, what we fear, what is of ultimate value to us, and what we think we need in life--in other words, our choices expose the dominant desires of our heart."* TRAINING: "God never tells us to try to be spiritual, he tells us to train. ... Do you want to be more like Jesus? Stop trying and start training." * KINDNESS: "Beng kind and gracious doesn't mean you ignore the wrongdoing or pretend it didn't happen."I highly recommend this book. Even if you're not even married, you'll find it helps you grow in personal relationships.

This new marriage book is a must read for every spouse--regardless of age, number of years married, number of marriages, or even the condition of your current situation! Leslie Vernick's book captures the challenge of every marriage--getting along well with someone other than yourself on a regular basis! The book is a delightfully easy read, but one you will pick up and read again and again for the truth and application of how to get along with your spouse when it's not fun.In my minstry to hurting women in difficult marriages, Leslie's book is a God-send. In the last month that I've known about her book, I've personally read it several times, purchased copies to pass on to my students, and given a few to family and friends. The truth of the front cover comment, "for every husband, every wife," speaks to today's incredible number of hurting marriages, but also to the rest of us who have the occasional ups and downs.Leslie brings us a different look at hope. Her book reveals a godly perspective on what marriage is really about--and how to trust the One who designed it. We CAN act right in unfair situations and experience blessing, peace, and joy.

This book isn't just a book about marriage and responding to a wayward spouse, it's a wonderful book about basic Christian growth and drawing closer to God. Of course, the encouragement, biblical principles and inspiration that Leslie gives is addressed to a spouse wanting to respond in a godly manner toward a spouse who isn't. And she does that so well that anyone facing that would know exactly how to respond. But if you're not facing that, you will also benefit from this excellent book. After all, don't we all have someone in our life who isn't acting the way we think he/she should? Instead of trying to control them, Leslie inspires us to respond in a godly manner through her practical ideas and encouraging insights. I highly recommend this book.