How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings

Miles Kington writes beautifully about almost nothing, and somehow he makes you laugh out loud. When he found he was dying fast, he kept writing and this is, for me, a hilarious book about the death of my old Oxford friend. After reading it you may never be afraid of dying--though death can be a bit of a downer, for others at least.

When author Miles Kington was told he had only months to live, he embarked on a series of letters to his literary agent and friend Gill in which he proposed absurd ideas for a new book - this one - on cancer. His observations on everything from the dilemma of being outlived by his dog to ideas on a funny funeral video make for a fine presentation any general library will appreciate.

Cancer is very serious business. Even the word itself conjures up many images and thoughts, none of which are warm, fuzzy, or the least bit pleasant. British humorist Miles Kington manages to absorb his unexpected and definitely unwanted diagnosis with a stiff upper lip that hints at a bit of a smile. Miles, the writer, is always on the lookout for the next good idea for his new book. First, he gets the urge to write another book, then he comes up with the idea for the book itself. At the age of 66 he is given a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, a generally fatal cancer. He queries his oncologist, who thinks that writing a personal journal about living with cancer would be good therapy. Then he begins to brainstorm one final book, and all sorts of ideas --- interesting, useful and a few downright bizarre --- spill forth in many letters to his literary agent, Gill. The reader is left to assume what Gill's replies might be. Miles decides that the book 1,000 PLACES TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE by Patricia Schultz needs a rewrite by someone like him who knows he does not have time to see all those places. So why not come up with a much shorter and more realistic list? How about a book of what to do on the way, or once you get there? Surely just ticking off a list of exotic places seen is not what travel should be about. Though his elderly father-in-law will go down in history as the man who did not assassinate Colonel Guaddafy, Miles believes that a patient who has a terminal disease might be just the one to rid the world of a truly evil person. What is there to lose? He doesn't ruminate upon this unusual thought too long before he is off on another tangent. What about a book about Niagara Falls written from the perspective of many people, some famous, some not? What about a book about all the infrequently asked questions about cancer? How interesting would that be? Surely not a bestseller. If he's going to cash in on this cancer thing, he has to come up with a better idea. Miles muses about creating a television program, a documentary of sorts, about looking over and clearing out all the accumulated paper clutter (which he refers to as "the great mess") before one shuffles off this mortal coil. Perhaps a book that explains how to do all the things one wanted to learn to do but never did get around to, like yodeling or whistling with two fingers in one's mouth or executing a graceful cartwheel. Then there's always a child's book about cancer, a board game about death...the possibilities seem endless. Miles worries that his beloved dog, Berry, who will now surely outlive his master, has absolutely no idea what is happening to him. How does one explain death to a dog? What if Berry insists on being taken for a walk at the very moment that Miles is drawing his last breath? Readers of HOW SHALL I TELL THE DOG? will gain a true appreciation of the author's wit, courage and grace. Although living with cancer will never, ever be funny, Miles Kington has taught