How Not to Stay Single After 40: The Secret to Finding Passion, Love, and Fulfillment--At Last!

Rather than using the "scare tactics" in "Find a Husband Over 35," Nita Tucker encourages over-40s not to give up, and explores some of the problems particular to this age group. For example, she speaks of how easy it is to get caught in negative beliefs (there are no good men, men only want younger women, there are no good men in my city...) and how easy it is, at an age where you've been hurt or disappointed more than a few times, to just "give up." She also talks about how "shameful" it is in our culture for a woman to admit she "wants a relationship," which is utterly ludicrous. We all know life is more satisfying with love and intimacy rather than without it--what's so embarrassing about that! Plus, "wanting" is not the same thing as "needing," and she certainly does not suggest you put your life on hold. Neither, by the way, does she suggest you settle for anything less than someone you truly love and with whom you have CHEMISTRY. (None of this, OK, you're over 40, so take-whomever-you-can-get nonsense...) She certainly does acknowledge our culture's obsession with youth and beauty and addresses that issue realistically, but bluntly. She even feels that if losing weight and a few "nips and tucks" make you feel better about yourself, go for it. (Her bottom line, though, is feeling good about yourself.) I felt I had to write this review after reading another which stated this book offered nothing useful. I'm a psychotherapist, and I strongly disagree. Single women over 40 need encouragement. There are too many naysayers out there. All men are not "jerks" or "sexist pigs," and if you think so, you probably have issues best dealt with in therapy. Finally, Tucker speaks of the importance of not taking rejection personally. This is CRUCIAL, I feel, especially when doing online dating. Not everyone will like you or be attracted to you--that simply means that person is not the right one for you. It's not a statement of your worth. Letting a perfect stranger's (or someone you've met once) lack of interest get you down will definitely cause you to become increasingly hopeless. Looking at it as a way to find the right mate for you is a much more fruitful way to approach the topic. If you want to spend your Sundays in bed with a good book by yourself, that's certainly a fine choice. But if you'd like to wake up next to your honey and spend the day in bed with him, buy this book.

Nita gives us concise, candid, on-target advice, with several memorable and profound nuggets that will get your head straight about dating and forming a relationship. This is a great, get-moving guide!