How Do You Say Goodbye (Sweet Dreams #16)

"It's cruel to be kind" might be a good logline for "How Do You Say Goodbye", a surprisingly perceptive story about walking the fine line between treating people respectfully and spinelessly bowing to their requests. Much of the novel's effective resonance comes from the playful first person narration of main character Lisa Kentwood, a self-proclaimed "ordinary" girl who routinely finds herself agreeing to do things she does not want to do, in an attempt to spare or placate the feelings of those around her, most notably her drippy guy pal Lawrence. Although she finds herself drawn to funny Alex Wiley, Lisa cannot bring herself to turn down Lawrence's repeated requests to go steady, thus resulting in a sticky situation and finally forcing Lisa to the realization that being dishonest about her feelings, even with the best intentions, is ultimately the most hurtful course of action. Believable and quick-witted, Lisa's narration turns what could be an extremely annoying story into a funny, thoughtful novel.

ISBN 0553225170 - Technically a romance novel for young adults, How Do You Say Goodbye conforms to few of the formulas for standard romance novels. The title is a little misleading, since the main character's problem is how to say NO, not goodbye. Lisa's a nice girl who wants everyone to like her. She also wants everyone to be happy, and if there's something she can do to make them happy, she finds it hard to say no. When Lawrence, who's been her friend for almost her entire life, develops a crush on her and asks her out, she can't refuse - even though she doesn't share his feelings. They've been dating for a while when she meets a boy she does like, and things get sticky. The Wileys have just moved to the area and Mrs. Wiley has ordered a cake from Lisa, who runs her own baking business. Often overwhelmed by all she takes on, Lisa confuses the date on the order and delivers it a week early. Alex Wiley answers the door and the two teens immediately like one another and make a date. The trouble is, Lisa's still dating Lawrence and doesn't tell either boy about the other. Juggling both boys and trying to figure out how to fix this problem without hurting anyone's feelings drives Lisa to tears more than once. When she delays too long and things go very wrong, she learns an important lesson in honesty. One thing this book has in common with the usual romance novels is how quickly a relationship develops - Lisa thinks Alex "always" makes things magical... on their FIRST DATE! In standard romance novels, that's annoying, but in a teen romance, it's actually a little more fitting, as are Lisa's over-the-top emotional outbursts and fairly frequent tears. Written in 1982, there are a couple small things in the book that date it, but overall one fact remains true: teenagers are teenagers. For a girl who has issues with saying no, it would seem to me that sex should have been brought up by someone, maybe her college age sister, to point out where the road she was on might take her if she doesn't learn to say no sometimes. The greatest negative, as far as realism goes, is how understanding Alex is when everything comes out and he learns that Lisa's been lying to both of the boys. Still, nice story, fairly well written and something the young adult reader can probably relate to.