How Did I Become My Parent's Parent?

It happens to slowly, and then suddenly the realization hits us that we are acting more like a parent than our parents. But we don't want this role, we go into denial, we just don't want to go there, we run away, it's far too painful. This wonderful book will show you how to face it, learn from it, and give you the strength to get through it with grace. What a gift to be able to see it clearly as a gift to be able to face the challenge and conquer the fear. Real solutions, real understanding. So many of us going though this. Another book you will get strength from is "Elder Rage."

A wonderful book about just what I have been fearing, denying, not wanting to face: that I have turned into my father's parent. He was also so strong, capable, intelligent, my hero--and now he is someone else sometimes, frail, unable to make proper decisions, confused. This book helped me accept what I did not want to do, and taught me that I can, I will manage it and be a very good parent to him--he taught me well. You must also read "Elder Rage" which is another wonderful book on switching rolls, written with wit and humor so it is a very easy read. These two books have saved my life.

A wonderful book about just what I have been fearing, denying, not wanting to face: that I have turned into my father's parent. He was also so strong, capable, intelligent, my hero--and now he is someone else: frail, unable to make proper decisions, confused. This book helped me accept what I did not want to face, and taught me that I can, I will, manage it and be a very good parent to him--he taught me well. You must also read "Elder Rage" which is another wonderful book on switching rolls, written with wit and humor so it is a very easy read. These two books have saved my life.

This little book came at a time when I am experiencing my parent's rapid aging and decline, not knowing when to step in and when to let them take responsibility for their own decisions, and experiencing a myriad of feelings in that regard. For a small book of 203 pages, it covers a multitude of scenarios that include options on what to do and what not to do and also the pain and fulfillment that goes along with each decision. It tells how caring for your parents can not only be a burden, but a life strengthener with its own unexpected rewards.

Convinces the reader faced with "taking care" of an aging parent that it's an opportunity as much as a burden. Book's strength: such a variety of real examples that you understand the need to search for an individual accommodation to your specific situation. Schiff's concept of the child who must now be the adult is good, though the phrase "chadult" seems silly. I have bought the book for both my sisters to help us work out a way to help our 92-year-old father.