How Could You Do This to Me?: Learning to Trust After Betrayal

I bought this book for myself and a loved one who had both been betrayed by someone we thought we could trust to the ends of the earth. It did not involve marital infidelity, but was equally crushing. One of the great problems in a situation like this is trying to find language to express the existential pain that one feels. The wrenching emotions are there, but in order to deal with them, they must first be identified, articulated and defined . This is much harder than it seems. I found the best part of this book to be the way it helped me to get my arms around the feelings, and thus help come to terms with it. The book helped clear a path to understanding, dispelling an undefinable pain, and resolving it into something rationally comprehensible.

After three years of trying to move on after my (now ex-)husband's affair, this was the book that provided the motivation for me to DO IT! It is hard for most people to be able to accept the bad things that happen to them and move on without knowing "WHY" it happened. Although this book did not provide me with the reason "why", it helped me understand what type of individual I was dealing with and why someone would behave this way. It also helped me understand what my part was in it - my reaction to it. This book has not only has helped me in my personal life, but in my professional work as well. Thank you Jane and Margery!

How could you not read this book if you have lived through any phase of a betrayal? Greer's advice is solid, practical, and accessible. She breaks it down into manageable steps and works to re-build the esteem that gets devastated by betrayal. This is a "hands on" book, and much cheaper than a counseling session.I found that I was a little overwhelmed with all the case histories that she used to illustrate her points. Maybe it is the nature of the beast, though. I don't know how she does it. But for me, and reading this book, I feel better and closer to moving on. You, too?

Getting over the chessy title, this book has a lot to offer to anyone in any kind of relationship where they've been betrayed. And for those of us (like myself) who have experienced betrayal once too often, it is a great help in healing. I feel better armed to cope after reading this, and hopefully that means that in the future I won't be as quickly betrayed again.

A real eye opener! Want the truth? You deserve nothing less. This book will help you get the answers you are entitled to. Focusing on helping you to recongnize betrayers,Dr.Greer,gives you the tools to learn that you have the right to question situations that don't "add up". I have never realized that you can actually make it easier for someone to take advantage of, and continue to actually betray you over and over again. Dr.Greer spells this out with compasion while keeping you from beating yourself up. Is your relationship worth rebuilding? Only you can answer that. You will receive the tools to help you decide. Have trouble trusting yourself because of past failures? You will learn how to start trusting others and most importantly: YOURSELF. A true Godsend. Thank you Dr.Greer