How Can I Be Sure?: Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

In 1989, my fiance and I purchased this book. He had not yet proposed, but we knew our relationship was heading in that direction. We wanted this to be the marriage that lasted the rest of our lives, so we did everything we could to learn how to be successful in marriage. Divorce was not an option.We went through the book one chapter at a time. He had a copy, and I had a copy. We worked through the pages separately, and wrote down any concerns or questions we had for the other. We then met and discussed our answers to the questions in the book. After our engagement was official, we went to our church for pre-marital counseling. We handed our pastor the workbooks at the first meeting. He was absolutely astounded that we had gone through so much effort before the engagement. We were able to identify the problems that would likely come up in our marriage (mother-in-law mostly!). Indeed, by discussing the issues ahead of time, we weren't surprised when certain things happened.We are still married, happily, I might add, 15 years later. I have given this book to couples that I think are heading toward marriage. I have also purchased books for my children and their future intendeds. My children are still young, so they are tucked away until needed.

This book was amazing! It helped my fiance and I understand each other better, compromise and/or get on the same page regarding many tough issues: Family background, previous relationships, our present relationship, religion, children, fiances, sex, and communication. This is a must read for any engaged couple or even couples thinking about getting engaged!

If you are a Christian and are considering marriage, this is an excellent starting point to find out more about your potential mate. I would guess that most divorces actually take place because couples never really got to know each other well enough before they got engaged. Sadly, most couples decide to marry, then think about asking questions.This book covers the main areas pretty well but I think left out other areas that could cause potential problems if not discussed. A more comprehensive book is 1000 Questions for Couples. I think it can only be gotten at questionsforcouples. com

This book is (as the title suggests) full of thoughtful questions that can assist any couple in their journey towards marriage. It is broken into topical chapters, such as finances, communication, family, backgrounds, etc. All of the questions are formulated to challenge you and your significant other to think about things that most couples don't think about until after they have walked down the aisle together and have returned from the honeymoon. It is then that they discover that their expectations for married life were so very different from those of their spouse. They find that little arguements have surfaced over stupid things!! It doesn't matter if you are engaged or just dating, anytime is helpful to go through this book! It really addresses a lot of current and future issues that may lead to some frustrating misunderstandings. This book helps you and your partner get on the same page about some very important issues and decisions that you will face. (Talk about them NOW, before they become stresses in the relationship and build distance between you!) If, after going through this book together, some questions arise as to whether you are compatible or not I would really consider the cost of compromising on those important issues! Many people go into marriage blindly, without thinking about simple things like their expectations of their spouse and their desires inside of a marriage. Everyone's expectations are different!!! PLEASE, ASK THESE QUESTIONS!! Obviously, they do not guarantee a "happily ever after" marriage, but they do help you make a more informed decision! (And make things easier when they do come up because you've already talked about them together!) I am going through this with my boyfriend and it has helped us understand each other and get to know each other so much better!

I highly reccomend this book or one like it.This book is designed to work with couples alone or with a councler. It is insightful and opens your mind to questions you might not even thought to ask (no matter how long you have known your intended). It is a couples book, not to be done by only you but WITH whom you intend to be forever with. This one is a workbook format so two copies (one for each of you) would be a good idea.