Horace

This book gives a straight forward approach to discussing adoption with an adopted child. Although both of us and our son are Caucasion (we adopted him from Russia) he does have blond hair and blue eyes, while my wife and I have dark hair and dark eyes. He definitely does not "look" like us. Although I would agree that we shouldn't focus too much on "looks" the fact of the matter (and reality) is that it is something that our children will have to deal with. This book involves the "Mama" tiger telling her baby "Cheetah" that they chose him and that they liked his spots (confirming that there are differences in the world, as opposed to hiding it). The "losing" of the child's first family is a reasonable explanation to provide to a young child. The actual circumstances of an individual child's birthparents can be discussed in more detail as the child gets older and more mature to discuss them.This is an EXCELLENT book for toddlers 2-4 years old. This book actually openned up the discussion of how our son came a part of our family and he now knows the entire story and is happy to tell everyone about it! Our son loves the book and proudly claims that he also "chooses" us after we finish the story.Highly recommended!

Horace, the little leopard, just wants to belong. His having spots rather than stripes (like his parents) is just a metaphor for his worries about not belonging -- sometimes. By the end of the story, he realizes that "spots vs. stripes" really isn't important at all. At first, when reading this book over myself, I liked the low-key, reassuring tone that struck me as sweet, not sappy. The real acid test was, however, how my toddler son reacted. It's been over 2 years now and he still requests Horace at bedtime.

This is a favorite book of my 4 year old daughter, adopted from China. I always know when she is struggling with identity when she asks for the bedtime combination of Horace and Are You My Mother? I always change one word, though, because the word "chose" is not accurate to our situation. Horace's mother tells him, "We chose you when you were a tiny baby..." We did not "choose" our baby, we adopted our baby. So, when we read the story, we say, "We adopted you when..." Unlike other reviewers, I have no problem with saying my daughter lost her first family. She DID lose her first family and needs to know she can grieve that loss with us. My daughter also knows about appearances and knows she looks different than my husband and I do. She once asked why she doesn't have relatives who look like her. We have filled that gap with friends and associates who look like her. She still has the odd magical notion that, when she grows up, she will have curly blonde hair "like my Mom". Horace is a great way to get started having a very important conversation with an adopted child. It's a winner.

While Horace is an excellent book for children, especially when adopted cross culturally, it can be helpful for older children as well. I work in international education, and teenagers have appreciated it when identiy issues hit. As an adoptive mother, I wish I had thought to encourage my children to "choose us, too" as Horace did at the end of the story. Every adoptive parent should consider this as a way to give young adopted children a sense of control and add something precious to their adoption stories. I also appreciated how positively the "tigers" he meets and plays with in his search were regarded. It is a wonderful story of love and choice and how both can contribute to identity.

WE ENJOY SHARING THIS STORY WITH OUR DAUGHTER'S PRESCHOOL CLASS TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND WHAT ADOPTION MEANS. BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK, STRIPES AND SPOTS MAKES LOOKING DIFFERENT LESS IMPORTANT.