Hooking Up or Holding Out: The Smart Girl's Guide to Driving Men Crazy And/Or Finding True Love

Even though, as a retired male, I may not belong to the intended audience of this book, I read it through in a short time. The colloquial style and layout are so engaging that you just have to know the message that is carried with such apparent lightness. The message, however, amounts to nothing less than a call for revolution, which involves rather more than just finding the right mate. At the base, there is vivid protest against our general superficial throwaway mentality (which still goes by the name of "culture"). All "how-to" books have something in common: reading them is one thing, putting them into practice is quite another. In the case of "Hooking up or Holding out", this may turn out more so than expected.

I loved this book. It's funny, witty, literary and extremely well written. I think Callan's right when she says that men basically want sex and more sex and yet more sex. Yet reading this, I also wonder if men, like women, also want more than simply sex. I suspect that men also have psychological needs that are not merely ego-based. I think, for instance, that men yearn for various forms of mothering. And the unanswered question for me is: If men do only care about sex, then why do they get married? Are they essentially duped? I actually suspect that casual sex is as unsatisfying for most men as it is for most women. Sure, men might want to be reminded of what a midsummer night's fling feels like more often that women, but I think that after a point men seek a deeper, richer connection as well. It's been especially interesting reading a woman's point of view on all this. Callan's book has an empowering message for women, proceeding on the observation that men still currently have most of the power in the dating world. The bizarre thing for me, though, is that as a man, I'm terrified of women. To me, women have all the power. They are far better schemers and manipulators then men. Most of all, I like Callan's emphasis on slowness. Our society needs to be reminded to slow down, and especially Generation Y. Everything is speeding up--the internet, access to media of all kinds, speed limits are higher, there are Power bars that give you a whole meal's worth of nutrition in three bites and drinks that give you several cups of coffee's worth of caffeine in three sips, and on a macro level, global warming increases the kinetic energy in the atmosphere (electrons move faster at higher temperatures, don't they?). So it's important for people to hear about the virtues of slowness. The thing is, slowness doesn't seem sexy, on the face of it. So by showing peope that slow can be sexy, Callan is doing them a great service.

I'm not normally one for dating advice books, but simply put, Hooking Up or Holding Out rules! As a woman who considers herself to be almost perpetually single, I was getting pretty tired of reading psycho-babble advice about "open, honest communication" and "understanding your man." Thankfully this book doesn't have any of that. Instead it offers a witty perspective on today's dating scene. Jamie Callan covers topics from the pitfalls of the sexual revolution, Internet dating and the "wingman" phenomenon with an intelligence and humor that is absolutely refreshing. A smart, empowering read for any woman. Buy it now. You won't regret it.

This is a hilariously funny book that tackles a serious issue. I laughed my head off all the way through it. Jamie Callan's light-hearted approach and the book's beautiful layout make it easy to read and it may tempt women- of all ages - to open their minds to ideas that they need to consider. While entertaining, it's actually a deeply subversive book that could change the way courtship is managed. As a Clinical Psychologist, and a therapist to adolescent girls for the last 23 years, I have often regretted what our culture is doing to girls and women, and this book articulates all of it so well. I have seen girls cave in to the pressure to be sexually alluring when they are barely out of childhood, to cave in to pressure for physical intimacy, and to come away emotionally empty-handed from their experiences. And, I have seen women who settle for relationships they shouldn't. This book's unique contribution is that women can have a lot of fun in the process of expecting more from their relationships. I hope, for the sake of our young women - as well as all the rest of us- that this book is widely read.

I love this book! Jamie Callan has put into words what women the world over crave yet are just too timid to admit to wanting - we want some romance in our lives. Jamie gives us the tools and the reasons to keeping the mystery fresh and men swooning - so that romance is on the front burner where it belongs and not somewhere hidden away in the realm of illusive fantasy or wishful thinking. It's time we took back our power and got smart about how to get the men and the relationships we want. Jamie shows us that romance and courtship are not dirty words; they are filled with love, honor and respect, and to making a woman feel cherished by the man who loves her. How cool is that?