Holding the Man

Tim gave this last performance his all. I have not found a book that so accurately describes my experience as a catholic boy coming out of the closet. He puts honest and sincere emotion and truth on paper in such a way that it stirs the very core of my being. Tim, without shame, provides a look into gay life style, including struggling with sex outside the relationship. As he describes his struggle between loving his partner and searching for "more", i found myself. As he writes his final good bye letter after his lovers death from AIDS, I found myself calling my partner from Iraq, in tears, and making sure that he knew how much I love him. This book will stir your soul. It will leave you in deep thought and will offer you the chance to shift, to change and to embrace your sexuality. It will help you to understand the importance of intimacy and unconditional love. It will allow your humanness.

I found Holding the Man in a little bookshop in Melbourne this March. I had read many "AIDS" memoirs-- including Paul Monette's Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir and the very fine Heaven's Coast" A Memoir by Mark Doty and thought there was nothing else to be said on the subject. I was wrong. I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so well written. In addition to being a poignant account of a beautiful love affair and sad, sad, death in the time of AIDS, it is a quite wonderful account of what it is like to be a gay teen as well. When I finished the book-- and yes, it will make you cry-- I felt an overwhelming sadness that this young man will never write again and that both these young men's lives were snuffed out at such an early age. And I wanted to see John's beautiful eyelashes. [....]

I am a straight man. When my little brother told me he is gay, I started to look for literature to more understand him. This book has definately helped me to see him from different perspective. This book teaches me that he deserves happiness and we have no right whatsoever to judge a person from his sexual preference. Tim and John had very difficult times dealing with their family, and I do not want this happens to my brother. My love for my brother is even stronger after reading this book.

I was given this book by a dear friend of mine who warned me not to bother with a box of kleenex, and to rather go for a towel.Good advice! I read the book cover to cover in one night and midway through I discrded the kleenex in favour of the towel, each time I have read it since I have opted for the towel from the startWithout a doubt one of the most moving and beautifully written books to deal with the subject of AIDS, homosexuality, comng out and the ups and downs of any relationship.Contrary to what some might feel, not all gay men have a difficult "coming out" some of us actually do get amazing support and acceptance from our friends. Tim and John shared a love that most people can only aspire to, maybe they had some rough times that Tim glossed over or neglected to include... kudo's to him! there is enough anger and bitterness in the world, I thank him for allowing us a glimpse into his beautiful world with John. The world is a darker place without the light of Timothy Conigrave's talent. Rest in Peace both of you, together in eternity.

What can I say other than this is the best gay book i ever read. Tim and John's relationship is an example of wonderful yet tragic beauty. I cried many times, smiled many other times... I had flash backs of my teen years when I was madly in love with a classmate in a french catholic school in Lebanon.The beauty of this book is in it's reality and honesty. Writen with such a direct style, the reader ends up sharing the life of the author and his lover in a very intimate way.Besides, "Holding the Man", could easily replace any book studying the gay couple. Reality is here, in all it's beauty and cruelty!A box of Kleenex can come handy while reading "Holding the Man". Those feeling down should avoid this book.