Help: The Original Human Dilemma

One of the best books I have read. The book is about the one question that comes up again and again in one's life. But that is not what it is limited to. The real value of this book lies in the depth with which it tackles the issue, from all angles, without taking sides. Rarely do I encounter a book which starts so many thoughts, plants so many ideas. It is a book for the thinking person. And I am lucky to have come across it at the right time in my life. If I had read it three years ago, I would have dismissed it as irrelevant, overly cyclical, stating the obvious. Only now can I appreciate it for what it really is.

This is a book that will appeal particularly ro those of us who feel that more than anything else help gives our lives meaning. But as the author (Keiser) puts it in a pessimistic moment, we cry out eagerly as children, "I can help!" and in old age we lament, "I was no help at all." We've probably all reflected and even been troubled that our reasons for helping are often selfish, and our sincere good intentions sometimes fail to help. Keizer somewhat downplays the heroism of help, portraying it as something integral to a healthy humanity, and often most effective in the mundane context of daily life and work. There are chapters examining in every which way the parable of the good Samaritan, the efforts of author Norman Mailer to help a convicted murderer with a literary gift, who tragically went on to kill again shortly after his prison release, the villagers of Le Chambon who hid Jewish refugees during World War II, the gritty nobility of helping professions, etc. Keiser has a writerly fascination with language and literary curlicues that in another context I might appreciate, but with this subject matter I found myself getting annoyed with his "cleverness." Clearly that's his style but to me it came across a bit like someone enamored of the sound of his own voice. I had high expectations of this book when I bought it (I can afford to buy a full-price hardcover only extremely rarely). It was worth the money and the time and I would definitely recommend it. It did disappoint me particularly in one way however, which was its much less depth of attention to the problems of receiving help--the orientation is mainly toward being the helper. As a retired clergyman the author clearly identifies as a helper and makes some assumptions that his readers will be materially secure, socially conscious helper types. I fit the latter part of that profile, but as a poor person and a person with a degree of disability I've experienced receiving help as perhaps even more complex and morally and emotionally fraught than helping. I was going to give only 4 stars for this reason, but I've changed my mind in the hopes that Keizer will write a companion volume, "Helped." The book does include some nice discussion of recognizing the moral agency of the person being helped, and his or her own need to help--I appreciated that, while the emphasis was mostly on helping, the book largely avoids objectifying those being helped, which I think goes hand in hand with not glorifying the heroism of the helper. In other words, a healthy and organic rather than romanticized concept of help.

You'll never look at help in the same way after reading this unique and gripping book. The author explores the human urge to help in all its heartbreaking, paradoxical complexity. Unflinching in his vision but always humane and compassionate (and even funny at moments), this is a fascinating guided tour of twists and turns through our often-tangled motives, our cherished ideals and the difficult realities of our individual lives. If you're a fan of Keizer's amazing essays for HARPER'S Magazine, you'll love HELP.