Healthy Selfishness: Getting the Life You Deserve Without the Guilt

I don't usually write reviews (too busy trying to get enough time to enjoy reading) but this time I had to say something. The review before this was clearly not about this book. Healthy Selfishness is one of the most encouraging, most loving books I've ever read. There isn't a harsh or mean thing in it. I know reviews allow all kinds of people to say all kinds of things with anonymity. So, instead of arguing, I'll simply say, this book helped me to find A BALANCE IN MY LIFE AND A JOY IN MY HEART I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN. Here's an example of the kind of writing in Healthy Selfishness that has helped me remember how I deserve to be treated. I've taken the Heller's own words straight out of the book: "To be Healthfully Selfish to is know your limits and to accept and respect them; to rest when you are tired, provide yourself with nourishing, appealing food when you are hungry, to go to the bathroom you feel the urge, to get emotional and physical nurturing without feeling that you must earn it and, in all things to accept (and even appreciate!) that you are not perfect. "Healthy Selfishness brings with it a zest for living that is astounding, a joy that comes from truly experiencing - deep within yourself - your accomplishments, and a pride in your ability to determine how you will be treated by those around you - no matter how important they are in your life." I've waited a long time to find a book that really, truly offered help and hope with a loving, giving hand. I just want to say that it hurts me to see good people and a great book trashed by a faceless person who may have some other agenda. Most of all, it bothers me to think of all the people who could get so much from this book and who might be turned off by someone else's mischievous review. That's why I wrote this review: to say don't let someone else's unfounded negativity ruin your chance at a much, much better life.

Two weeks ago I was a different person. With all that I had in life I was still feeling unhappy. I was tired of taking care of everybody else and always coming last. I was starting to resent my husband and twin girls and I felt totally alone. My sister and mother's subtle put-downs were setting me off more and more easily. I felt like I was in a downward spiral. Since I bought this book everything has changed. I really mean it. I've started listening to what I want and need and putting limits on the way people treat me. Instead of getting upset it seems like they respect me more. Even my DH. It's like everyone has been waiting for me to say I'd had enough and this book showed me how to do it without feeling guilty. I started wiith the chapters on Healthy Selfishness with your Kids and the chapter on Family and your Mate. They were great. Next I'm going to read the chapter on Healthy Selfishness in the Bedroom : )

The first time I saw the title, I knew I needed this book but I didn't know how much I needed it until I began to read it. I'm making changes, some big and some small, but all of them are important to ME! And my husband, my son and my mother are actually handling it quite well (never thought I'd say that)! I was sick of taking care of everyone else and always coming last. I didn't think I could really take control but with each day, my whole life is changing for the better. I actually wake up happy and look forward to my day! And guess what! Just like the book says, I don't feel guilty. Thank you, Dr. and Dr. Heller.