I've spent forty-four years of my life telling the world I'm a carpet man. Is it too late to admit to myself and everyone else that deep down I'm really all about the Hardwood? It took me over thirty-five years to admit to myself that I'm gay, another seven to find the courage to say it out loud to anyone else, and exactly thirty seconds to develop a massive crush on my daughter's music teacher. It's really not my fault, have...