Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men

Michael Kimmel's GUYLAND is a masterpiece -- of manipulation and deceit. Ostensibly a concerned but kindly portrait of young American males, the book is actually a scathing, unforgiving indictment. Indeed, an in-depth analysis of how adroitly Kimmel has crafted his monumental insult of young American males and impugned their dignity -- while patting himself on the back for being simultaneously insightful and avuncular -- is the stuff of a doctor's thesis with potential to run for more pages than the book itself. This review constitutes but a brief glance at a few of the salient points that such a thesis would highlight. It is through a combination of neatly interwoven tacks that Kimmel navigates the tricky process of passing off a brutal -- and very shallow -- portrait of young males as a thoughtful assessment. The overall structure of the book, in and of itself, constitutes Kimmel's primary tack. Focusing, in sequence, upon various unseemly aspects of Guyland -- the term Kimmel has coined to demark the social and psychological world of males approximately 16 to 26 years in age -- he carefully cushions his words with polite disclaimers. The basic gist of what Kimmel initially tell us is this: The wonderful young man you care about probably is not like what you'll be reading here. But you should know about the "disturbing undercurrent" (p. 9) of the realm in which he spends much of his time. Then, as the book progresses, Kimmel's disclaimers become less cautious. Eventually they are mere passing mentions and finally they all but completely disappear. In this manner, slowly over dozens of pages, Kimmel stealthily escalates his unwary readers' ire as he heats up his criticism. At last -- without our consciously realizing that the concerned analysis has turned into an excoriating diatribe -- we have come to understand that our beloved young man, at heart, is actually a scoundrel. Kimmel saves his best for last, launching into a fevered discussion of the harassment and rape of women. At this point, unless we have been paying attention to the tack and putting up psychological defenses, we find ourselves maneuvered into the passive position of uncomplaining (and perhaps by now even supportive) witness to Kimmel's most impassioned passages -- collectively, an orgiastic thrashing of his subjects' now-unconscious bodies. Indeed, our blood may boil so indignantly that it may escape our notice that Kimmel does not even mention how young men, too, get victimized by the opposite sex -- with far-reaching consequences and, unlike victimized women, with no sympathy from the media or the criminal justice system (for one thought-provoking depiction of the phenomenon, I recommend It's Not About the Truth: The Untold Story of the Duke Lacrosse Case and the Lives It Shattered, by Don Yaeger with Mike Pressler). Embedded within the structure of this screed of intellectual terrorism lie several additional tacks for seducing readers to agree with Kimmel'

Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (12/08) Michael Kimmel has written an extraordinary account of why young men today do not grow up as they did in past generations. Through his interviews with hundreds of young men ages sixteen to twenty-six, Kimmel gives us the inside scoop on why young men are marching a different path today. For them, the responsibility of work, marriage and responsibility is a something that will come later on. What is interesting is the chapter on Culture of Protection. It's a guy thing apparently. An example is a group of young men lured a mentally-challenged girl into a basement with the intent to have sex with her. Two of the young men didn't want to participate so they left. However, they did not tell anyone what was happening even though they knew it was wrong. Parents also have a tendency to gloss over activities they know are harmful to their sons or someone else. Dads are proud of their sons for showing their "maleness." Is this what we have become? Just because you're a guy it's okay to harm others, take what doesn't belong to you and then act like it never happened? Throughout the book, "Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men," the author, Michael Kimmel, addresses subjects such as: sex, marriage and work. He provides much insight into what is going on in the minds of young men today. His interviews with many young men stun the reader. As a Psychologist I thought I had a pretty good understanding of the younger generation today- boy was I surprised! It makes me look at my own 30-year-old son, who sadly is still stuck in Guyland.

I purchased "Guyland" because of a wonderful review of it in the NY Times. Despite its difficult and loaded content, the NY Time reviewer noted that it was a "good read." And it is - like a can opener digging deeply into your brain and memory to elict your responses to "What is a man?" Being older, I am way out of touch with today's male world, but Kimmel unlocked several secrets of how men live today: single 35-year-olds living together and the lack of commitment in all of the Appatow comedy films and TV comedies; young boys who endlessly watch a video screen, no matter what it shows; young guy's many hours of "hanging out" and listening to the angry talk radio shows or playing video games, rather than connecting with humanity or facing the responsibility of what they should "be" when they grow up. I was not expecting so many topics - which end up all being pieces of today's "Guyland." I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had since reading this book with my wife, my children, my male friends. There are those who have criticised the book but I am not certain what they were looking for. A definitive description of a "Man?" A dry and scholarly treatise on "How a man is different from a woman?" Those are "grey" areas already and are shifting and changing as I write this. I had a wonderful time with the book and thank Mr. Kimmel from getting me away from my electronic addictions. And connecting with other people.

It doesn't surprise me that some are going to rip this book to shreds. I don't read to agree with everything the author has to say. I read books like this to push myself to learn, react and discuss with others. I judge books on their ability to make me think about a topic. I also recognize that when an author tries to take on a topic like this there is NO way they are going to cover everything... the book would be 1000's of pages long if they did. A few of my observations are listed below: 1. As a social-science researcher I, too, wish that Kimmel would have been more specific in detailing his methodology. Those criticizing his research design, lack of comments about about Human Subjects committees, etc, could make the same claim for MANY other research-based books that don't want to bore the average reader this information. It is quite common for those conducting sociological research in more unexplored areas to use qualitative designs - those that just provide observations on a particular group of people. This doesn't make them unscientific, however we should be careful not to generalize these findings to all groups of young men. Kimmel does state early on that most of his observations were about young white middle-class men. Some readers and social-science researchers might like to know a little more about what he actually did. The book in many ways is a phenomenological study that has some limitations, but also much to consider. The "mapping" he has produced is a good starting point for further research. 2. Although this book might describe the majority of white young men, there was little noted about the exceptions to the problems. There are young men out there who live differently...who aren't getting drunk every weekend, hooking up with a different sorority girl each weeknight, or playing video games until 4 in the morning. How do we explain what's going on with them? Probably beyond the scope of the book but readers shouldn't give up complete hope on young men...there are some who are making different choices than those described in the book. 3. Some may criticize the fact that the book lacked Solutions. However, I don't think this was the intent of Kimmel's book. Actually, I would have been disappointed if Kimmel's last chapter was something to the effect of - "Kimmel's 10 steps to better manhood." This is a complex sociological, psychological, economic, educational, family, and dare I suggest, spiritual problem. Solutions won't come from one man or woman, but rather groups of interested parties who are willing to put their jobs and reputations on the line to push for changes in how we interact with boys and young men. As a 30-something guy who has experienced much of what Kimmel wrote about, I found the book a little spooky. Were his observations about today's young men or did he pull out some data from the years I was in college? At moments, I wondered if Kimmel was writing about my experiences as a fraternity member and college a

Kimmel's book is important because of its exploration NOT into morality, or individual failings, but rather of our culture: a cultural space he calls "Guyland." He explains this space not as a failing of individual young men. Guyland, Kimmel argues, can be understood in light of contemporary changes in the job culture (postponement of careers), technology (we live longer - what's the hurry?), family (postponement of marriage) and masculinity (what it means to be a man). This is not an exposé on what individuals are doing right or wrong, but a reflection on social and cultural shifts that explain what is often perceived as normal; "boys will be boys."