Growing Girls: The Mother of All Adventures

Jeanne Laskas lets the reader into her life, like a friend who sits across from you for a cup of coffee and conversation. The parallels she draws between herself and her girls, her animals and their "children" are enlightening and humorous, and she is willing to be honest about the dark and ugly fears that arise in the middle of the night as well. Her chicken adopts a duck, and despite their different origins, they are a FAMily. Family takes many forms and extends to neighbors and not just limited to the suburban nuclear biologically linked entity. Her self doubts are things most moms will relate to, and i believe her girls will benefit from the musings and thoughts she has shared and worked through. Contrary to other reviews that saw mostly hate, this book is about love and growth, and how circumstances can interfere with the usual and expected "mother love" and what we do to compensate for it. All of us who adopt are grateful for the opportunity, regardless of whether our children come from out of the country or from down the street, but we have to admit also that there had to first be a loss in order for us to gain the family we have. And sometimes the reason for that loss or abandonment is terrible or totally unknown and we and our children have to work through that with grace and courage as well as fear and doubt. Its a terrible thing for a society to say "ONE CHILD and no more" and "SONS will support you in your old age, your daughters will leave you for another family" regardless that it also means more girl babies "released" "abandoned" "given up" for Americans who can afford it, to adopt. DNA is not the sole reason for a family, and Jeanne makes this opinion clear. Certainly to share the history and celebrate the culture is important, but ultimately we are family, and in this case, American. And if the children choose to be more "American" than say, Chinese,(whatever that means, really...its an enormous and diverse country) fine. Ask any immigrant-american about their second or third generation children and how much culture is retained even by folks who live it, before worrying too much about being only who we are, we who have to learn it in order to share it. This book is a joy.

What the heck is "a reader"'s review talking about? Jeanne honestly wrestles with all of the complex emotions that go into adoption--like being angry at the mother for abandoning her daughter by the side of the road to loving the mother for giving Jeanne the chance to have this daughter. To pull out the lines from the book that "a reader" did shows she totally missed the point: this book is not a sugar-coated telling of how everything about adoption is simple or easy or perfect. Instead, it's a real, honest wrestling match between the author and all of her various emotions about her adopted daughters' absent birth mothers or their possibly-negligent caretakers. Of course, it ultimately emphasizes acceptance and love--but getting there isn't an easy journey and Jeanne seems fearless in baring all of her doubts, fears, and wants along the way. That's a huge part of what drew me into the story and made it ring so true and feel so real to watch her go from that to loving her daughters immeasurably, and falling in love with Chinese culture and the people she interacted with. As the aunt to an adopted girl from China, I appreciated hearing someone give a voice to the not-so-pretty, COMPLICATED things we feel, but when they get attacked like this, it shows why we need more books that get to the truth of adoption and why some people are so terrified of having honest conversations about it. This is a beautiful book, honest to the core, and with a touching message about finding love and acceptance.

Fifty Acres and a Poodle: A Story of Love, Livestock, and Finding Myself on a FarmHave found so much enjoyment in these books. It may be because I grew up in that area but I just love her writing style. Although quirky, she is funny, lovable, a worrier and just happy doing the best she can do for her husband, girls,and all of the great animals that she has accumulated over time. I do hope that she writes another!

This collection of interconnected essays explored Laskas' adventures in raising her two adoptive children, Sasha and Anna. We get to be along for the ride through the family's adoption of Sasha from China, and her subsequent language delays and the triumphs she experiences as she develops. The stories Laskas tells of the girls adjusting to each other and becoming fast friends, playing on the farm, and the adventures they have in the world are touching and sweet. Laskas also shares a lot of the emotional ups and downs she experiences as a mother, and explores the meaning and importance of family and culture through the vehicle of her own family's experiences. This book had me alternately laughing and nodding in deep recognition of all the ways we form families. The stories of the girls on the farm had me rolling, and I immediately felt comfortable in Laskas' world. You'd want to read books one and two before trying this one (Fifty Acres and a Poodle, then The Exact Same Moon), since they are enjoyable as well and provide the background for this story.

Being a male I can't totally emphasize with Ms. Laskas points of view about raising girls. But being the father of a girl I can say how surprised I was to find that raising a girl was basically a full time job for two adults. But what a blast. (Not that I'd want to do it again, I'm waiting for grandchildren to spoil.) Ms. Laskas, however, has a writing style that I've never had. Furthermore, I think her stories also tend to have a happier ending than mine. For instance, in her story of the balloon that got away, daddy chased after the balloon (According to the daughter, 'that is my best balloon.') and after a delightful chase the balloon obligingly turned around and allowed daddy to catch it. In my case the balloon took off like a homesick angel. I've missed Erma Bombeck. But it looks like she has come back to live on a farm in Pennsylvania.