Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers & Hope

There are no clear cut answers to losing your loved one(s) to suicide. I've been profoundly grieved at the loss of both my husband 12 years ago and my best friend this year. I've read most every book on suicide regarding this difficult subject. This one is so beautiful and rare. Its not endless academic drivel on the stages of grief because frankly, normal grief does not apply when dealing with the complexity of suicide grief! What's more, as a Christian, I craved why and Biblical comfort. Albert Hsu offers both. I am so sad for everyone that is experiencing this type of loss but I encourage you to use this as your resource guide which I have given to every friend who has lost a loved one in this way. What's more, this author lost his father to suicide. He is compassionate and real! Thank you Albert Hsu. Sad subject....beautiful, heartfelt wisdom.

When my new wife took her own life earlier this year, it broke my heart but not my faith. Having a Christian write a book about his own journey -- while also guiding me to other resources -- has been incredibly helpful. I'll admit I read it in fits and starts, because just when I thought I was over a rough patch of grieving, I would read about Mr. Hsu's similar path and I would take a step or two back into that part of my pain. There are times when it was uncanny how his life and thought matched so closely to mine, and there were times when his relationship with his father reminded me of my relationship to my (still-living) father. It has helped me examine my living relationships more closely, and to treasure the time more dearly. For those who don't feel comfortable with the Christian perspective, there is still much to be learned and felt in these pages. Don't reject this book simply because Mr. Hsu often offers support through passages from the Bible. Even if you don't read the Bible, there are stories there that can teach anyone, regardless of their faith or lack thereof. But that is not the main focus of this book. "Grieving a Suicide" is about the journey from shock and disbelief and deep pain toward hope and healing and forgiveness. That is a journey all survivors of suicide need to take, and this book (and others mentioned in the footnotes) can help us get there.

Well meaning friends gave this book and Carla Fine's book to me after my husband's suicide. Carla's book came first and while it may be good for some, the many stories she relates gave me nightmares. I kept dreaming of my husband committing suicide in all the ways she relates through-out her book. Albert Y. Hsu's book was a welcome relief from all that. He so gently explores the grief that suicide brings, which is, by the way, like no other grief. I highly recommend it and for those who are suffering from a loved one's suicide, I urge you to also join a support group. I'm thankful I did because for 2 hours each week I was with people who more fully understood what I was experiencing. One of the best comments to come from it was, "If we understood what the person was thinking, we'd be in those depths ourselves and that's not a place we want to be." I bought several copies for friends and family who were grieving with me.

I cannot sing higher praises for this book and it's author, Hsu. Having been a grief educator and serving with hospice for years, I recently lost my father to suicide and I have turned to reading as a form of grief work and self help. This book was very insightful, challenging, understanding, and personal. Although it is of a Christian perspective, it does not shove religion down one's throat. Rather, the gentleness and kindness and hope that can come from one's spiritual self and beliefs are encouraged. Modern psychology and Western culture does not have all the answers and this book addresses this in relation to loss by suicide. The raw pain that happens, dealing with blame and responsibility, the turmoil and chaos of this type of loss, the magnitude of it, lamentation, life perspective and forever changed personhood are all touched on. This is an empowering book from a very personal perspective, of one who has traveled the road as a survivor of loss by suicide. I salute Hsu for being so intimate in his book, yet specific and detailed, that is appealed to my inner-self in accepting that this loss is real, it happened, and now where do I go from here. Thank you, Hsu, and Inter-Varsity Press. I'll share this with my loved ones and I'll re-read it through this first year of mourning and, if needed, beyond. I'm sure I'll quote it for years to come. Despite much greif work to accomplish, I feel this book has helped me at least sort through the shattered pieces that remain.

I found this book and "No Time to Say Goodbye" by Carla Fine to be the best books I've read on the subject of suicide. Suicide happens to all walks of faith. I lost a dear friend to this tragic death, and these two books have been very comforting for me. I found the following words in this book very healing, "He fought an enemy that was as real to him as this casket is to us. This silent enemy exhausted all his courage and strength. Only God knows what he was suffering in his soul. But our consolation is that God does know and understands!"

This was a wonderful helpful book. Every page seemed to say something I could indentify with as I grieved the suicide of my fiance. I am so glad I was able to read this book at the beginning to better understand suicide and the feelings that come and how to deal with them. Normal behavior was described such as the stress and not being able to function as well as before while grieving.