Goose Chase

Alexandria is an orphaned goose girl living quietly with her flock of 12 geese. One day, an old woman asks for some food and, poof, Alexandria is suddenly "as lovely as the dawn" with diamonds for tears and gold for dandruff. She attracks the attention of the local prince (a rather dull fellow with little in his head but her beauty) and a neighboring king (for an idea of him, the opening line "The king killed my canary today" should tell you all you need to know), who promptly lock her in a tower when she refuses to marry either of them. With the help of her dedicated flock, she escapes. And that's just the first three chapters! Original story, well written characters, fun for all to be had!

One of the funniest and wittiest fairytales I've read all year. And it's original to boot.Okay, we have a young goosegirl. She's rather plain, she's not overly fond of bathing or combing her hair, she's poor, alone in the world, and so on...a common peasant. When she shows kindness to a hideous old hag (who happens to be her fairy godmother and who, it may surprise you to know, is not in disguise) she is transformed into a glorious beauty who cries diamonds and brushes gold dust from her hair. And now we have a goosegirl who is not only beautiful, but filthy rich...and pursued by a prince and a king. But when the goosegirl, Alexandria, refuses to marry either of her suitors, her gift becomes a living nightmare as they lock her in a tower and vow to keep her prisoner until she chooses one of them. Hmmm. Bachelor number one is a cruel king who rules his country with an iron fist and a cold heart. He has had two other wives who have both died of mysterious causes. He enjoys polishing his weapons and killing small animals. Bachelor number two is a handsome young prince with no intelligence, wit, or conversation. Actually, he is as dumb as mud and, if he is chosen, he will probably be assinated by his rival. As you can see, it will not be an easy choice for our fair goosegirl.What it will be is a romp through the lands of fairy with a brief nod to several beloved fairytales (Rapunzal, Cinderella, and lots more) that just might end with happily ever after...and true love.

Patrice Kindl, known for "Owl in Love" and "Girl in the Wall," turns her attention to a highly original like-a-fairy-tale fantasy story, in which the tried-and-true elements are given a wry new spin.Alexandria Aurora Fortunato (also known as "Goose Girl") lives alone in a cottage with her twelve geese, until the day when she does a favor for an old woman who turns out to be a fairy godmother type. Before she knows what's happened, she's gifted with exquisite beauty, diamond tears, and "gold dandruff." This turns out to be less of a blessing than she expected. Soon she's trapped in a tower, and forced to choose between the sadistic King and a kindly but idiotic Prince.With the help of her geese, Alexandria escapes from the tower, and promptly stumbles into the grasp of omnivorous multi-headed ogresses. She manages to get them to employ her as a cook, only to find that they've captured the Prince as well. The two of them (with the geese, the fourteen of them) stumble from one misadventure to another, to the core of a political takeover and a long-past magical spell...The basics of old fables and legends are expertly combined with a bright, independent but not cocky heroine to make a very original tale. This is not a feminist tale in the conventional sense of the word, in that Kindl seems to have affection for her male characters as well as her female ones, and that Alexandria is simply smart, matter-of-fact and independent. "The combination of great beauty and great wealth is a monstrous cruel handicap for a girl who simply wants to tend to her own affairs and her own Geese," she informs the reader. The Prince is also a good character; at first he merely seems to be a slow-witted parody of the typical Prince Charming, but as the story unfolds, we see his sweet nature and his caring for Alexandria. This is one of the few fantasies where the love interest has significantly fewer brains, but is deemed "worth it" anyway.The writing style is pseudo-ye-olde, with a distinctly ye-olde flair but never making the dialogue stilted or hard to read. Instead, it adds to the peculiar charm of the story that modern English never could have. The comments and dialogue are, at the same time, extremely witty and well-written; the melodramatic tone of fairy tales is relentlessly mocked. At one point, as she and her geese plummet towards the ground, Alexandria wails, "O woe! O! O! OW!" The ogresses are hilarious, especially when Alexandria feeds them a horse's saddle. No loose ends are left dangling; small hints of the heroine's background are present throughout the book. And of course, no geese are as talented and brainy as hers are, without a specific reason for being so.A charming read for those of you who enjoyed "Spindle's End" and "Ella Enchanted."

Things change for a young Goose Girl when an old hag gives her a few gifts: she becomes as fair as the dawn, her hair is filled with gold dust which comes out upon brushing, and whenever she cries, diamonds fall to the ground rather than tears. Alexandria is then placed in a tower by a dim-witted prince who wants her hand in marriage, and she is then forced to choose between an evil king and the prince. She makes a deal that she will choose when she finishes her wedding gown, which is to be crafted from gold thread created from the gold dust from her hair. However, she undoes her stitches every night when no one looks, and sews very, very, very slowly, to buy time. Then one day, the servents forget to lock her door, and everything changes when she climbs to the top of the tower and her geese carry her away on a featherbed. She must face ogresses, armies, castles, impossibly long hair, and the return of the stupid prince. Will she ever survive this escape to freedom? Find out in this hilarious book. Recommended for fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, Finnegan Zwake Mysteries by Michael Dahl, fairy tales, and all hilarious books.

If you like stories where the hero is a women, who always gets her man, then you will love this story. I enjoyed it also because, although you may expect the outcome, you never fully expected that to happen. Thats all I can say about this great book.