Goodbye Without Leaving

I've read and reread all of Colwin's books and this is the one I've come to identify with and like the most. All of Colwin's wit, humanity, and inventiveness is here in a quirky but believable story about a young woman whose experience as a backup singer comes back to haunt her the rest of her life.

Though a Laurie Colwin devotee, it took me three or four tries to get into "Goodbye without Leaving." Now, however, it is my favorite of all of her novels, and I turn to it like an old friend. Geraldine's struggle for harmony is simultaneously amusing and poignant. Though the book does not include the anguish of "Shine On, Bright and Dangerous Object" and "Family Happiness" or the buoyant fairy tale quality of "Happy All the Time," it addresses the fundamental worries of family, friendship, religion, career, and love without resorting to cliche. A tender and abiding story that resonates deeply.

I read this book the first time 10 years ago. It is neither the best-written nor most important novel I have read during that time but it sticks with me more than any other and I return to it again and again. I think this is because it speaks about how to learn that you are a grown-up when you perceive yourself as the younger, perhaps more adventurous and brave soul you were in the past. As a parent, wife, teacher one often feels consumed by roles that are not our "essence". Colwin has shown me that those parts of us can grow together and let us be as brave and as open as our past selves. The added plus is that all of us who imagined (?imagine) a life as a back-up singer for any musician can feel a little less crazy.

A wonderful telling of the ambiguity common to many young women in the 1990s: to be strong but perhaps lonely, or give in to love? Is it possible to be committed to another person and still be independent? How does one find her way to a happy medium? A terrific antidote to the Ally McBeal/Sex & the City portrayal of women as desperate for a man, or obsessed by relationship anxiety. It is horribly sad that we won't have more from Colwin.