Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work!

This Shybusters book is the best I have read. While I am not a blubbering idiot around women, I do tend to get tongue-tied. Well, this book solved that problem. It's about getting more confidence through steps, not instantenously. The author's Sybusters tips throughout the book helped even more, especially the ones aimed at dating. Overall, it's about getting out there and feeling the fear and doing it anyway, as they say. For that, this book can't be beat. Another that helped me as well was How to Get a Girlfriend: Two Classic Dating Guides in One Volume-Understanding Women and How To Be The Man Women Want.

I was recently laid off from work and in the spirit of "reinvention", decided to open up my own small business. As I began to develop my business plan, I realized my success as an entrepreneur will not be a result of what I know, but rather, of who I know. Analytical and introverted by nature, my comfort zone is working at my computer, and certainly not networking and socializing. And do I decided to spend some time developing my social skills, and went in search of some helpful reading. When I came across "Goodbye to Shy", I was skeptical at first to say the least, expecting that a lifetime of shyness could not be "cured" through reading a self-help book. But through the candid wisdom of her writing, Liel Lowndes has quite literally changed my life forever. I began to realize that while some people ("Sures") seem to be naturally blessed with the confidence to interact with other human beings with ease, those of us who are not that fortunate can LEARN to adopt new habits. We can actually and mindfully develop new habits that will enrich our relationships with others and subsequently, enrich every aspect of our lives. For example, as a mother of three, it comes quite naturally for me to turn my body completely toward my child tugging on my hem, bend down so that she can see me at eye level, and give her my complete and undivided attention. Liel explains that adults are not unlike children, and although I may feel uncomfortable, turning my body toward the person speaking to me, focusing my eyes upon them and giving them my undivided attention makes the other person feel at ease and attended to, which will leave a lasting impression. Eager for more, I followed "Goodbye to Shy" with "How to Talk to Anybody", which took the foundations for human interaction that I learned in "Goodbye to Shy" to the next level. Now, I actually look forward to the next social event, or business lunch, or networking event, or seminar, or coffee break, with confidence and excitement. I have learned that even the most prominent and well-respected professionals in my industry are approachable human beings - who share hundreds of commonalities with me that make us all human. I learned that you would be surprised how many other established, well-spoken and confident professionals share my trepidation in a social setting. I am eagerly looking forward to the release of Liel's new book, "How to Instantly Connect with Anyone". Liel, again, you have changed my life forever, and I can't thank you enough for your selfless effort to share your wisdom with countless others. I wish you all the success as a writer that you could have ever hoped for.

I bought this book not because I'm so shy, but because I love Leil Lowndes' writing style. In a way, she's funnier than Dave Barry (my second favorite writer) and her stories are all true. Anyway, everybody can use MORE confidence so I decided to do some of here techniques. She calls them "ShyBusters" and the book has 85 of them. They are very unique, not the common advice you hear everywhere. Out of 85 ShyBusters, here are just a sample of those that helped me, even though I'd say I am more of " A Sure," rather than " A Shy." I first tried her ShyBuster #20 called "Detonate a Ten- Second "Blast of Animation" Whenever you meet someone, or just run into someone you already know, cough up a VERY ENTHUSIASTIC "hello" or "happy to meet you." Why? Because lasting impressions are formed in the first few seconds. That blast of animation tags you as a very enthusiastic energetic person so, even if you are quiet and don't talk too much later, they don't think of you as shy. How tough can just 10 seconds be? Another one I especially liked was ShyBuster #49, "Rehearse your proud mini-resume." Somebody is ALWAYS going to ask what you do. So rehearse a very enthusiastic description of your job. That way people get the idea you love your work. And, as Leil says, when you love what you're doing, people respect you more. Her ShyBuster #71 on "Practice Dating" was very helpful. IT GOT ME THE BOYFRIEND I WANTED!She advises going out first with people you're not nervous about so you get used to the "dating scene." (In other words, "date down" a few times.) Well, I wasn't nervous about regular dating, but there is this one guy I really liked who hadn't asked me out. My girlfriends told me it was fine to find some excuse to invite him to something. But I couldn't bring myself around to it. So, following the advice in the book, over a period of weeks I invited two other guys to some small event. Then it was a lot easier to invite HIM. And we're dating regularly now. It's similar when you're job hunting. Leil advises interviewing first with companies thet you wouldn't dream of working for. That way you get used to the old "interviewing process" so you can ace the one you want. Anyway, there are lots and lots of techniques that work for non-Shys too. I'd recommend this book to EVERYBODY who wants a little more courage and wants to come across better.

I don't consider myself shy, at least with most people. However, because I was always nervous before asking a girl for a date, I figured I'd benefit from the book. Besides, I'd read practically everything else the author wrote and got tremendous benefit from every other book. Plus I love her writing style and get a big kick out of her true stories. I also like the fact that she gives very specific advice in numbered techniques. In this book, she calls them "ShyBusters" and there are 85 of them. I didn't realize, however, how MUCH benefit I'd get out of "Good-bye to Shy" professionally, socially, and personally (as in dating.) Here's an example of each. PROFESSIONAL benefit: Recently I was in a job change and, like everybody, was nervous about my job interview. I got the job I really wanted and in a way, I credit my success to her ShyBuster #38 which is "Interview First with Half a Dozen Companies You Wouldn't Dream of Working For." That gets you used to the ol' interview game. Then you can ace the interview with the company you really want. SOCIAL benefit: Whenever I meet someone now, I do ShyBuster #20. Since people judge you in the first few seconds of meeting you, Leil says "Blast 10 seconds of Animation." Instead of a monotone "hello," give them a really energetic greeting and use their name like, "Hi John, I'm really glad to meet you." Now they really think you are confident and outgoing - definitely not shy. If you're quiet later, they just think you're a good listener. PERSONAL benefit: My favorite dating technique is ShyBuster #71: "Practice Dating. "It may sound a little strange, but it really boosted my confidence with women. Leil says that, if you are nervous about, say, asking a gorgeous woman for a date and taking her to a fancy restaurant, do a "practice date" at the same place with a woman you're not as attracted to. That not only gets you on a first name basis with the hostess, but it's great practice for ordering wine and feeling comfortable with the gorgeous woman in a posh restaurant. Bottom line is, everybody can use a shot in the arm in the confidence department, and this book gives it to you.