Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Help Your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends

"Friendship is a mutual relationship formed with affection and commitment between people who consider themselves equals." Life changes fast. Your friends are changing and you are changing and at times friends will go off in different directions. Lately someone told me a story about a friend who was like an angel to them and only appeared in their life when they needed her. She also disappeared for years at a time without telling them why. The problem with finding friends is just that: "finding them." While you would think it was the easiest thing in the world to make friends, it really is difficult to find those amazing " once-in-a-lifetime" great pals who you can talk to about anything. Losing those people is like loosing half your soul. Perhaps the best solution is to help your children start choosing good friends early in life. This is a book about making and keeping friends. The Contents Include: Finding Friends Making Friends Keeping Friends Dealing with Teasing, bullying and Meanness Helping Your Child Stay out of Trouble Fred Frankel is a psychologist and leading expert on children?s social skills. He is the director of the UCLA Parent Training & Children's Social Skills Program. This is where he teaches pediatricians, psychologists, social workers and child psychiatrists. He has information in this book, I had not really considered. While it might be logical, they do say that children who did not have a best friend as a child grow up to be lonely young adults. They found that friends teach us about social grace and how to solve disagreements, not to mention supporting each other through stressful times. One of the most ingenious ideas is to develop interests that attract friends. My parents used to have birthday parties for us and bake really good cupcakes. That was sure to attract friends, however, I soon learned that often kids would be my friend just so they could have some of my lunch. My dad made the best lunches for me to take to school. This book shows you how to try to find out what your child is really interested in and encourage them in that direction. There is also a section on how to discourage bad choices. The section on "having friends stolen" brought back some of my own childhood memories. Losing a close friend brought back some memories from my adult life. You know when a friendship is going to end. It is just painful to see it happening. Chapter 16 shows the early, late and point of no return stages. It is good to know that grieving is ok. One of the problems I dealt with repeatedly as a child was "moving away." Eventually I just became scared of making new friends because I knew in a few month I'd be moving again and it became painful for me to say goodbye. I maintained shallow friendships for most of my life, however some of my childhood friendships turned into long-term friendships through writing letters. The author explains how you can make this process easier for a child. Writing letters did

I liked this book very much. When my 8 year old encountered various situations at school I wasn't sure what to tell him to do. This book addresses real problems and gives real answers. It tells you how to help you child and what to say to them, without solving the problem FOR them. I thought it was excellent.

This book gives specific step-by-step instructions on how parents can help their children approach social situations. Much of it is aimed at families with children who, because of impulsivity or shyness, have difficulty making and keeping friends. This book is aimed at parents of elementary school-aged children. It would be particularly good for children with AD/HD or Asperger's Disorder. However the tips on making friends would help most shy children who have moved to a new city. Carol E. Watkins, M.D. Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist

As the mom of an Asperger child who desperately wants to have friends, I found this book more helpful than any other. It describes -- step by step -- the powerful social dynamics needed to "infiltrate" the mysterious world of friendship. I would recommend this book to the parents of ANY child who had social issues, be they autism, LDA, or just a bit shy or a bit aggressive. A must have for every resource library as well.

As a school psychologist, I often meet parent's who are at their wit's end regarding helping their children make friends. This easy-to-read book provides step-by-step, age-related approaches on how to help your child find, develop positive relationships with, and keep friends. In addition, this book provides strategies for dealing with teasing and bullying and scripts that you can practice with your child regarding what to do in these situations. This book would be especially beneficial to parents of or clinicians who work with ADD/ADHD children since these children frequently encounter these difficulties.