Good Discipline, Great Teens

This book is written in a question and answer format so it is like Dr. Ray's radio show, but in book form. I haven't gotten very far in reading this, but I've already gleaned a few tips in dealing with my teens. If you like Dr. Ray, then you'll like this book. It's an easy read without a lot of high-falutin' "shrink" (as Dr. Ray refers to himself as on the radio show)talk. This book contains down-to-earth, common-sense suggestions on how to discipline your teens so that you will end up with great teens!

A few things I need to mention at the beginning of this review: 1) I typically hate parenting advice book. Usually they seem to be written by people with no kids but lots of degrees, and either state what is plain common sense (i.e. waste of time) or go against what is plain common sense (i.e. poor or even dangerous advice). 2) I really hate parenting advice books by psychologists. They often reject the common wisdom handed down from generation to generation in favor of the latest fads in academia - fads created by those with no real connection to the realities of raising kids in the real world. If you want to raise your kids in a test tube, their advice may work, but for the rest of us, they are useless and possibly counter-productive. So I never read books like "Good Discipline, Great Teens", but my wife was able to get me to read this one after she had heard Dr. Guarendi speak at a conference. She promised it would be engaging, funny, and full of practical advice. Boy, was she right! Dr. Guarendi writes in a style that is down-to-earth and quite hilarious at times. Even better, the advice he gives, while backed by his own work as a clinical psychologist, supports the common wisdom of generations of parents. Nothing he writes is necessarily "new", but by reading this book, one is given the support to be a confident parent in face of a culture that undermines strong parenting at every opportunity. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who has teens or children about to become teens. These years, contrary to popular thought, can be wonderful years for the parent-child relationship, and Dr. Guarendi gives plenty of help to make sure that this happens!

Dr. Ray Guarendi uses his trademark humor sprinkled with a little sarcasm to give those of us who are barely treading water trying to raise our teens good, sound, logical advice. The book is in question and answer format and this reader found many questions in the book to be those on the very tip of my tongue. My teens, when they saw me reading the book, said "Oh no! Dr. Ray! We're going down!" all in good fun because even they respect Dr. Ray and have never had any luck in refuting any of his reasoning (though they have tried and tried). The best part about this book is Dr. Ray's reinforcement of the necessity of discipline throughout the teen years and his consistent reminder that parents should not feel guilty maintaining authority in the home during these years even when doing so feels like a continuous struggle. He is also the master of helping us keep our senses of humor throughout the entire process. The only thing better than reading Dr. Ray's book would be to have him move in and raise my teens for me.

I love Dr. Ray! He gives practical advice and injects a lot of humor into his writing so is also very entertaining. Respect and consistency are key in raising kids, whether they're toddlers or teens, and Dr. Ray gives great examples for how to sensibly handle many situations parents of teens are likely to encounter.

Author Raymond N. Guarendi, Ph.D., ("Dr. Ray") is a clinical psychologist and father of 10, who is a nationally known speaker and regular guest on such TV shows as CBS This Morning and Oprah. Dr. Ray is very clear about his support for parental authority and discipline, yet presents his opinions in a gentle fashion, softened by self-deprecation and humor. The question and answer format, with individual descriptive titles and bold pull quotes on most pages, is a quick indicator that this work is based on solid, common sense combined with clinical experience and practical suggestions. Of those, my favorite is the response he suggests for parents whose kids expect parental gratitude because "I'm not on drugs. " As cultural morals decline," writes Dr. Ray, "it becomes easier to feel satisfied that one is comparatively moral." Nonetheless, parents need not be swayed by this argument. Tell them this, Dr. Ray says: "I am grateful. I could be a lot worse. After all, I don't neglect you or mistreat you. And I'm not on drugs." In addition to teen-specific topics such as dating, smoking, cell phones, and curfews, Dr. Ray writes of parental authority, consistent discipline, respect within families, communication, and responsibility, all of which can be taught initially in the toddler years. And on the other side of the teen years, he asks parents to look into the future, when their child is 22. Most families and most teens turn out all right, he says, but to have a one-in-a-hundred twenty-something, "then you will need to be a one-in-a-hundred parent." This latest of Dr. Ray's books overflows with ideas for accomplishing that.