Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids!

Good and Angry is such a good book! I feel like I've experienced a shift in my thinking. I used to think that righteous indignation over being disobeyed gave me license to solve the problem full force with that anger. That had been the parenting model for me. Now it makes so much more sense to view that anger simply as a flag to identify the child's problem,  rather than the weapon, trusting God to move in the child's heart as I seek to direct them with kindness. It could almost be considered a theological shift as well as an emotional one. It has me moving in the direction of trusting God, and away from trusting myself as a parent.

This book is excellent. I gave a copy to everyone in my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group because I really feel this book is a must read book. Why? This book helps you as a parent to recognize the five basic causes of anger and gives you practical ways to help reduce your anger and use it wisely. In my experience as a parent, I was suprised by what my kids brought out in me- especially anger! "Emotions need to be interpreted wisely...Anger, for instance, is a flag that says,"Something's wrong here, and`I need to do something about it." The anger does not define what is wrong. You need to take time to think and interpret anger's signal appropriately before you take action...We believe that the key to using anger in a productive way is to separate the trigger from the response. If you can use anger to identify problems but not react to them, your perspective on anger will change." pp. 25-26 This book is written by Christians so they do quote the Bible and talk about God in the book. However, anyone can benefit from the very practical ideas in the book. Some of my favorites are "The Lie Detector Test" p. 174-175 and the five steps for giving instructions in chapter 3. This is where a lot of parents get frustrated because kids won't do what you ask them to do. One book is not going to cover all parenting issues(that's why I am continually reading parenting books because I need all the help I can get!) but this book covers what many books do not- how to use anger wisely. Other books often say don't get angry or seem to assume that you won't get angry and don't tell you how to break the anger cycle. That's why I like this book so much and feel it should be a part of your parenting library because anger is a basic emotion felt by every parent.

Households get busy. And kids will misbehave. After a while,a parent's patience can run a bit thin. Especially when children do the same thing time and time again. "Will they never learn?". The authors provide the reader with a list of tools to get through these times. The goal is to build family relationships while helping kids learn better ways of responding to life's situations. Kids learn from us. If you ever find your patience being tested in those difficult moments, then you will want to read this book. You might be surprised how it can bring a little peace to the household while building closer family relationships.

My children are 13, 11, and 9. I have read many excellent parenting books,but feel that Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have captured a new yet simple,wise and practical method for training children. All of this in an easy to read book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Children. Good and Angry first helps the parent examine their own attitudes,and then gives them a few simple tools to effectively raise kind,considerate, sensitive, and loving children.I especially enjoyed chapter 7, "They're So Annoying". It was refreshing toknow that other parents struggle with children who "seem oblivious to thefeelings of others, continue to pester, speak without thinking, and areoverly silly by pushing, grabbing, teasing, and joking". This chapterexplains that I can teach my "annoying child" self-control and sensitivityby raising the awareness level of the annoying behavior, by keepingcharacter in mind, by praising the child in the process of correction, andby developing tolerance when necessary. I have begun to use this simplemethod, and feel less anxious and sense a strengthening relationship betweenmyself and my child.This is not a book you read once and put away to collect dust. It is onethat you need to read over and over again. Good and Angry is a great bookif you want to replace bad patterns of discipline(reacting in anger) withgentle, wise methods.Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have written this book from aChristian perspective, but it's content is not religiously offensive. Themethods can be used by people of any faith.

I recently saw Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller do a seminar with the same title as this book, Good and Angry, after which I purchased the book and their 2 other books, How to Stop Whining and Complaining in You and Your Kids and 8 Steps to Effective Parenting. They have been a phenomenal foundation for raising kids from toddlers to teens. They dig right to the basis of what parenting is really about. I have since bought several copies of this book and given it to friends and family members. In today's society of rush-rush-rush, we spend less time really getting to the heart of challenges with our kids and just look for the "quick fix." Scott and Joanne help us to raise our kids with pure hearts and thinking minds. Only then they will CHOOSE to make good life decisions.