Golf's Most Outrageous Quotes: An Official Bad Golfers Association Book

"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators," said Gerald R. Ford, former president of the United States. Most of us who play the game find its charm in the peaceful environment, friendly competition, and gentle exercise. We also find it to be a game that humbles the mightiest. There's lots of room for humor in the difficulties the game can present. One of my favorite quotes from the book is from the female pro who hit a ball off a tree and into her blouse. She didn't mind the two stroke penalty, though, she just didn't want to have to hit the ball as it lay. This wonderful book has stories about climbing into trees to hit shots that nestled into the branches, and other difficulties. As Hank Aaron put it, "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." People from other fields often have special insights, like Yogi Berra the Yankee great. "Ninety percent of the putts that are short don't go in."The social aspects of the game present new opportunities for the shy. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong ball," noted Jack Lemmon. There's political significance in golf as well. "The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie," complained former governor of California, George Deukmejian. The best advice is to relax, as Chi Chi Rodriguez reminds us. "I was so nervous (at the Masters) that I drank a fifth of rum before I played. I shot the happiest 83 of my life."Of course experience can help. Maybe. "The game was easy for me as a kid, and I had to play a while to find out how hard it is, reminisced Raymond Floyd.For these and other wonderful quotes and stories, be sure to read this book. As you round the course and fall prey to various obstacles, you can provide your playing partners with lots of quips that will make you seem wise, even if your swing doesn't look like Tiger Woods' does.