Give Them Wings

Don't wait until you're delivering your first child to college all the way across the country before reading this one; Start when they're beginning High School - for their sake and yours! I started to read this when we were taking our son to play college football - I cried all the way there....and back. They weren't tears of joy and excitement for my son and what he would accomplish; it was more that I felt I had failed him.......we weren't prepared! This book will teach you how to prepare your child to leave the nest with some wonderful Biblical principles and it will teach you how to let go too.....a little at a time!

I read this book only about a month before my son left for college across the country. I was feeling anxious, melancholic and woefully unprepared. It's not that I didn't want my son to be wildly successful in his adult life, but I was struggling to reconcile my hopes and dreams for him versus my protective and cling-y motherly nature knowing I would miss him terribly. This book was exactly what I needed. It not only empathized with what I was feeling but helped me to think differently about this season of life. There is life after the children leave, and here are thoughts and perspectives (much of it Biblical) to think about during this sensitive time. Bottom line: This book was a great comfort to me. I recommend this book for anyone who has teenagers...the earlier you read it the more helpful it is. The book also addresses a number of life skills that parents may not (wish to) think about until the teens are practically out of the house (e.g. managing money, facing peer pressure to experiment with drugs and pre-maritzl sex, self-discipline in study habits, personal living habits living in a dorm, etc.) In the back of my mind, I thought I had so much time to teach my son about all these. But the time went by so fast and all of a sudden he was leaving for college. This book helps you to prep your teens early for this big step of leaving home for college, military service, getting married or just moving out of the parent's home.

This book is packed with practical advice for parents whose children will soon be leaving the nest or have recently left. Without claiming to have all the answers, Carol sprinkles real-life examples from her family throughout the book, giving some excellent insights as to how she implemented her own advice in her family. Some parents may have a hard time letting their young adult children grow up. This book shows how the gradual shift from a child's dependence to independence can take place with a minimum of conflict when parents step back and let their young people take responsibility for their actions and decisions, while still being supportive and loving. Carol shows how it is not necessarily "rebellion" when a young person does things differently from the way his parents do, but these actions are probably just signs of that young person's trying to become more independent. Do we really expect our children to be duplicate copies of ourselves? No; we want them to grow up and be independent. Carol brings out the fact that young people need to be free to try their own styles, not be crammed into a mold. Having four children ages 17-21, my husband and I found this book to be an excellent resource. We highly recommend it!

Carol Kuykendall provides good insights as she warmly recounts her experience in supporting her teenagers transition through high school and into college. Many suggestions are based on how God loves us, which of course is a great model for how we can love our teenagers. (Many of us act like we are teenagers in responding to God!) "Give Them Wings" has been very helpful for us to think through the changes, understand how our teenagers think and feel, how we might be feeling, and to adjust accordingly. Nicely written. Not a detailed manual but it isn't meant to serve that purpose (I ordered another book for that)

My third child started his senior year this morning. As part of a grade level mom's Bible study, I will begin this fall to teach this book for the third time. In preparation for this study, I read 6 other books along the same subject matter, all of which were very good in their own way. This one was the only one written using scriptural references. In my opinion, it is the most concise and written more from the heart than from a psychological perspective. The two minor drawbacks are in no way substantial to the overall worth of the book. First, it was written before the days of e-mail and cell phones so our communication with our college students is much greater than in the years this book was written. Second, it is written to encompass all the years of high school, so if you are reading it for the first time as your child is a senior, you might think some of the chapters don't apply. I have not found this to be the case as the ideas discussed in releasing your child to drive for the first time still apply to realeasing them to leave home for college. If you believe that the greatest gift you can give your high school senior is the foundation for a relationship with God, then this book is for you.