Getting Real

This is an excellent and very practical book on authentic and effective communication. It is written in a very readable style and presented in a way that is logical, coherent and easy to assimilate. Many of the ideas put forth in this book are not the standard fare ones sees within this genre. When the ideas are what you may have encountered in other readings, they are presented in a fresh light. The one minor criticism I have is that I found the book a bit heavy on case histories or stories. For me, this is somewhat of a weakness, but I know for others this can be a strength. If they had a 4.5 star category, I might lower my rating a bit because of this. Two books that I have found complimentary to this one are Crucial Conversations and Difficult Conversations. I would consider both of these to be excellent books for dealing with family or relationship conflict and they build on the philosophy and concepts presented in this book. This book is more heart centered than the other two and go more deeply into specific conflict resolution concepts. All of them, however, assume a principled, authentic and heart-centered approach to dealing with others.

After reading Radical Honesty I quite accidentally came across this book in the library! And while I found Radical Honesty compelling and challenging, I also felt uncertain of my ability to truly practice the skills Brad Blantoon proposed.Susan Campbell presents many of the same challenges to her readers, but gives such powerful concrete examples that I found it easier to understand and begin to apply in my own life.The Truth Skills are clear, very comprehendable, and while simple in that way, for me living them will be a challenge.I scored high on all of her self-assessment quizzes - and yet I did not read the book and come away feeling like I am some sort of failure as a person, just that I am indeed like most of the people roaming this earth. What makes me different is my desire to change and grow. Where I see myself failing most significantly in my life is in the area of communicating and relating in healthy ways. Learning to live in "what IS" and not what I imagine, learning to relate and not control, and to listen closely to my self-talk, to feel free to communicate and to be ABLE to communicate and to be real, for example, for me will be life changing.I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

I cannot speak to how this book will impact others but for myself I found that with each passing chapter I found MYSELF in those pages. I kept thinking over past relationships and how I had done almost every single thing WRONG. This book does not come off as some "new agey" kind of "I'm OK, you're OK" cra*. It just asks you to look at yourself; Look at how you are relating to the world and then suggests a different way of relating.Ask yourself, "Am I happy with my life, my relationships?" If the answer is no I think this book is worth a read. It gets especially useful if you can get family and friends to participate. That can really help you get through barriers you thought were sealed for life.

Getting Real is an honest and straightforward book about freedom. Many of us, perhaps most of us, learn from early childhood experiences that it's not safe to be ourselves. We take on false beliefs that become part of our adult lives. This book shows us, step by step, how to free ourselves from the need to control how others view us and find thefreedom that comes from "relating" as opposed to "controlling."The book is organized around 10 truth skills that help us learn to communicate authentically and discover that "we are most loveable when we are most transparent." When we speak from our own experience instead of from our judments and interpretations, we enter the realm of the here-and-now. We learn to communicate our honesty with presence and compassion, instead of trying to prove ourselves right.Dr. Campbell, a corporate consultant and seminar leader, has found that when people practice these skills, their fear of speaking honestly dissolves. They develop an unshakeable sense of inner safety and security, so they no longer need to control other peoples' opinions or reactions.Indeed, Getting Real teaches us everything from how to experience reality and how to be transparent (feeling good about revealing your true self) to how to assert your wants and how to embrace silence in a relationship. Dr. Campbell writes, "Profound things happen when two people sit face-to-face and openly explore their feelings toward each other in the present." Susan Campbell, Ph.D. has, in this reviewer's opinion, given us the ability to see and appreciate our true selves!

"The important thing is to look honestly at what your need to control is designed to protect you from and whether it actually supports your well being." pg. 88 This is only one of the very valuable quotes I have typed and placed on my refrigerator door... I refer to it every day and thank Susan every day for writing Getting Real. Another of my favorites is, "If you let fear get in the way of honest communication, you lose your power to create magic". Magic is what Susan has created in this book. I give it the highest possible recommendation.Averill Bowers... former reference librarian