Get People to Do What You Want: How to Use Body Language and Words to Attract People You Like and Avoid the Ones You Don't

This book is for people who want to get ahead. It gives you a precise, clear understanding of what motivates people. You'll know what makes you tick, how and why other people get you to do what they want (advertisers, politicians, co-workers) and what you can do to "get people to do what you want." The authors give you the tools to gain a lot more control in almost any business or personal situation.

What I found most interesting about this book is the insight it provides into human motivations and behaviors. This can be conscious manipulation -- as in why people buy things for which they have no use or even particular desire -- or less conscious influences -- why we enter into relationships and/or marry people who are totally wrong for us. And of course, the ongoing question as to why people vote for the candidates they choose even when they would seem to voting against their own rational self interest. An important point is that the process of understanding motivations and behaviors that the authors detail includes at least as much self-examination as it does evaluating anyone else. This can only be helpful to personal relationships.

Since How to Spot a Liar, I have avidly read each of Hartley's and Karinch's books, and continue to be pleased with the material included. It is dark, certainly (as the authors mention in the first two paragraphs of the book--don't say you weren't warned), and takes a decidedly biological, psychological, and evolutionary approach to humanity as a whole. This is not to say it does not allow for individuality; it is clear to the astute reader, through both subtleties and context clues, that the authors do believe each person has unique characteristics, and the reader is continually warned against using anything within the text as a rule that can be applied wholesale to the entirety of our race. With that said, however, our hardware is the same, and thus our basic physiological function--thus, each person has the same basic "hardware". This book takes the reader step by step through the basics of understanding why it is we do what we do, and then, with that understanding, how to insert stimulus that will glean the desired reaction or result. It is not a "how to" guide in the traditional sense, such as a car manual. It is much more subtle and requires time and practice, and it is also a self-defense guide as well as an instruction manual (because people just might be using these tricks on you, whether they know it or not, whether they have terms for it or not). However, even just after reading the book, it immediately opens your eyes to the way people interact, the very nature of our drives, and even if you gain nothing else, that understanding and realization gives you a valuable tool in a world largely blinded by the veils of ritual, habit, and cultural norms. The authors don't intend to give the impression that as soon as you close the cover you will instantly be an unrivaled manipulator, akin to the Jedi. Rather, they seek to give you an understanding of who we are, where we come from, the motives behind our actions (both psychological and biological), and thus come to a greater realization of what we can do to utilize this information, these motives and drives and habits, to get ahead in what is a very dog-eat-dog world. The nature of that world is dark. However, even if you are morally opposed to manipulating others, I strongly recommend the book as a guide to yourself. The concepts apply to you as well, and though you might be above such tricks, others aren't--and you should have every defense you can get against them. Half of that is knowing the tricks in their repertoire, and half is knowing yourself. This book can help with both. Jeff Gohlke