Gay Marriage: For Better or for Worse?: What We've Learned from the Evidence

A fantastic book - definitely very scholarly in tone, to the point of redundancy at times. One of the most informative and smart books about the subject of marriage equality. I consider it a must read for anyone who is involved in the struggle for bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgender rights in general. Also a good resource for thoughtful people who may be unsure of their position on the subject, and may want to examine the evidence of the consequences of gay marriage in various contexts. I appreciated the authors description of a process of dealing with these issues where same-sex couples still ask for 100% of the rights that they desire, but all parties involved, pro and con are respectful of differences, and change is made incrementally over a period of years (Even our California same-sex marriages were not so sudden, upon greater reflection.) Overall a good resource.

This is an invaluable source and resource for anyone interested in the subject of marriage equality. There are exhaustive statistics,and I had a little trouble getting through them all.But the author's try to explain each one, and put them in perspective. Chapter 6:"Drawing Lines:Scandinavian Lessons for the American Marriage Debate" was priceless. That one chapter was worth the price of the book. It is a realistic look at the history and the problems we will have in the United States before everyone is treated equally.

"For a long time, we've needed a good scholarly account of the effects of same-sex marriage on marriage and society as a whole. Now we have it. This eye-opening book is a must-read for anyone interested in the continuing debate over same-sex marriage." -- Andrew Sullivan, author of Virtually Normal "Whatever your views are now on same-sex marriage, this is the book to read to be informed about why same sex couples want legal recognition and what legal union means to them and to the larger community. Eskridge and Spedale give detailed accounts of the effects of registered partnerships in Scandinavia--and along the way, offer fascinating and engaging pictures of many people's lives. Fundamentally, this book raises the bar and now no responsible discussion can proceed without addressing actual evidence from the countries with long experience giving same-sex relationships legal recognition." -- Martha Minow, Jeremiah Smith Jr. Professor, Harvard Law School "Eskridge and Spedale illuminate with remarkable even-handedness a debate that tends to generate more heat than light. They provide a cogent analysis of conservative arguments that same-sex matrimony threatens conventional marriage, and argue persuasively that enabling same-sex partners to marry may actually strengthen that beleaguered institution." -- John Podesta, former White House Chief of Staff, currently President and CEO, Center for American Progress "Eskridge and Spedale have given us an important and timely contribution to the debates about same-sex marriage. This book convincingly shows why the best policy (and the best politics) would be to support individuals and the families they form, however those families are constituted. It should be required reading for anyone interested in the future of families in America." -- Martha Albertson Fineman, Robert W. Woodruff Professor, Emory Law School

We keep hearing about how we need to "protect" marriage or "defend" marriage from same-sex couples. But as the authors point out, it's never exactly made clear what the institution of marriage needs to be protected from. We keep hearing about a parade of possible horrible things that "would" happen if gay marriage were legalized (less marriages, more divorces, polygamy, marrying relatives, livestock, etc). But behind all the rhetoric, where are the facts about what really would happen if gay marriage were legalized here in the United States? These two authors, Spedale and Eskridge, finally answer that question in this book. They have done some excellent research on gay marriage in practice. They show that (1) there is no "slippery slope" - 17 years of de facto gay marriage in Scandinavia has NOT led to any calls for polygamy, group marriage or the like; (2) allowing same-sex couples to marry does NOT harm the institution of marriage - in fact, more heterosexual couples are getting married now, and less are getting divorced, than before there was gay marriage; and (3) there are plenty of social benefits associated with allowing gays and lesbians to marry (too many for me to discuss in this review, but that they discuss in the book). They also relate their findings in Scandinavia back to what's going on here now in the United States, and conclude that the trends would be the same in the U.S., if same-sex marriage is legalized here. The book also includes lots of other interesting material, such as the demographics of gays and lesbians who are getting married (i.e., what types of people decide to use the gay marriage laws), gays and church weddings, gays raising children in a traditional family structure, etc. There's also a history of how gay marriage came to be in the first place in these countries. Overall, very enlightening and engaging. For someone that's tired of all the empty arguments being thrown around by members of congress ("marriage is being threatened" "gay marriage will undermine the family", etc) and other pundits, I found this book to be a refreshing change of pace, where facts, rather than rhetoric, rule.