French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France

I have lived in Paris for thirteen years, and "French or Foe" is the ONE book I recommend to all the new arrivals I meet. Yes, even those who already speak good French, which makes a lot less difference than you might think to the culture shock. That is because this book is the most directly helpful. The advice in "French or Foe" can make a real difference to your everyday happiness if you live or travel here, especially if you are having a hard time. There are few people, indeed, who could extract no useful information from this book; even they will at least have some good laughs, since the book is full of funny and usually enlightening anecdotes. My French friends who have read the French translation say they all learned something about themselves!The fact is, some things about France will always be difficult for us "Anglo-Saxons" (as the French call all native English-speakers), no matter how assimilated. Human nature may be the same everywhere, but the basic assumptions of our two cultures are very different. I'm sure things are hard for the French in America too. But Polly Platt's book makes the hardest things easier. She gives you practical advice and clear reasons why the French behave in puzzling ways. For example, in America if you complain to a store manager about a store employee, the employee is very likely to get into trouble, and you will certainly get an apology. In France, the store manager will try to put you in the wrong. That is because in France, it is almost impossible to fire someone, so the manager will have to live with the employee for a long time to come, and is better off antagonizing a single (foreign) customer. Therefore, if you have a complaint, you have to try to save the employee's and the manager's face, while presenting your problem as something that their expertise can help you with. This really works! And the MAGIC phrase, "Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a problem" is one of the great keys for how to get along in France. There are many of these tips in the book.Just this week, I forgot one of "French or Foe"'s lessons and left a meeting without shaking everyone's hand. They were all visibly shocked. To the French, this is terribly bad manners. Yet of course it is not in America. I only recently discovered that it was Just Not Done to wish people here "Happy New Year" before the New Year had actually arrived! "Common sense" doesn't necessarily help when you are in a different culture. This is where "French or Foe" steps in.Yes, the formal dinner party information may seem a bit out of date, and is perhaps irrelevant to most readers; but believe it or not, this kind of dinner party is still thriving in certain parts of Paris, and since it is exactly the kind of thing that makes Americans feel most uncomfortable, I don't think it is amiss to have a few tips on how to handle one. If nothing else, knowing the formal routine could make dinner with the boss or the friend's grandparents, or a birthday meal in

French or Foe was not only an entertaining read, but it was also highly enlightening. Polly Platt provides countless examples of Americans who just couldn't grok the French, suggests how the French perceive the world and recommends ways of approaching the situation better. She covers the gamut of common situations from business meetings (e.g., the importance of shaking hands), the systeme'D, and the delicate etiquette expected during the highly coveted dinner (assume you won't see a toilet during the evening, never ask the host for the recipe, and keep quiet). THere's a wealth of French history filling out some of the more curious angles, as well as copious emphasis on core values such as education in mathematics and science. After reading this I began to understand them more and appreciated their uniqueness.

This book is a must for anyone planning to live or work in France, especially if they have school age children. after twelve visits to France, I can say with confidence that Polly Platt understands the French and explains the differences and the basis for those differences. She covers everything from business conversations to schooling, history, food, family matters and social interaction. It is not so much a How To book as much as a Why book. If going to France, read it, you'll need it.

I am french and I have been working in the UK for the last year. While having to work with anglo-saxon people (from the UK, US, Australia,NZ, ...), I found FRENCH OR FOE of a huge help in getting across all the initial cultural and professional hurdles. FRENCH OR FOE is an excellent mirror for a french to look himself into. It brought many answers or tips on how to tackle all the questions you ask yourself when diving both into a new job and into a new culture. It has three very particular features that are so hard to accept by french people: - it has great humor, and uses humor to get messages across - it is efficient, which is most usefull in everyday life, much more than trying to cover precisely all the details - it doesn't prentend to be always right, and even admits that the anglo saxon way can be wrong in few instances. Bref, it is a great book that the few real cliche french will hate for all three of the above reasons. The others, the majority, will love it and will learn why to love their compatriots a bit more.