Forever and Ever, Amen: Becoming a Nun in the Sixties

I have read many books about religious life (the sisterhood) over the years. I entered the convent myself in the early 70's as the mass exodus of sisters was waning. What I most appreciated about Sister Karol's book was how accurately she captured the emotions of the time. She was able to shine a gentle light on that singular experience, known perhaps only to women who have been in formation (postulancy, novitiate, juniorate) to become a sister, of joy, belonging, and awe juxtaposed with fear, sadness, and anger. Her book so precisely captured that experience that I found I could not put it down. I am grateful to her for evoking those feelings so clearly in me, and, I assume, all who will read the book and remember. Convent life is almost indescribable if you have not lived it. As Dickens wrote, it was for most of us, "the best of times and the worst of times." If you have been in the convent you will recognize yourself in Sister Karol and her classmates, I promise you. And if you have not, you will have as clear a glimpse as you can get into what life was like in the convent of the 60's.

Overall this is a book that is well written filled with complex life experiences: bitter-sweet, a few warts, but filled with hope. High Recommend. If I could give this book a 6th start, I would have. The author was forthright and gave the reader a good idea of what she is really like, warts and all. She live though some turbulent times. After 33 years as a Sister of Holy Cross, Karol transferred to the Sisters of Christian Community; thus, 2 of 50 (4%) stayed. This could have been a tragic rant. Frankly, I was honored as a reader to be allowed to get to know these valient women. At times, I found dissapointed with Karol's behavior and unsympathetic to her plight; but, appreciated the author's willingness to let us see her warts, letting it all hang out. More than once, I would have liked to have given Karol a dope slap, "That attitude, she isn't getting it!" But reading on to find later to find myself smiliing thinking, I'd like to give her a bear hug, "She did get it!" The complexity and depth of the relationships, seeing so much in terms of time passing, as an outsider I found I felt great sorrow at times. I was shocked to find myself greeving the loss of community: coming to the realization, internalizing, and accepting the loss that Karol must have had to go through. Watching her community struggle so much. This community had far more wrong with it than could be readily solved. Further, it became clear during the "experimentation" that this community had lost its vision. Perhaps a better first with the instructions that came from Vatican II, would be to answer the question, "What was the intent of the founters for our community?" Followed by, "How to we acheive this vision/mission today?" There is no "re"-newal, if there was no "newal" that existed. It was painful but very joyous to see her grow so much from the experience. I felt like I knew her well and her other sisters in the community. Karol did a great job making the experince accessable to readers. Wow, what a great book. Thank you for letting us readers join you (Karol) in your life journey. It was a real pleasure to read this book. Books on the thought during the transition process include: "Catholic Sisters in Transition" and "From Nuns to Sisters" by Sr. Maria Augusta Neal SNDdeN and "Midwives of the Future: American Sisters tell their story." McCormmic. Unhappy memoirs, "The Narrow Gate", "The Buried Life" by an ex-IHM. Happy memoirs include: "Springs of Silence", by Madeline de Freese a Holy Family sister, who from what I understand is no longer a member of her order. "My Beloved" by a Carmelite, "Right to Be Merry" Mother Mary Francis PCC (still in print!).

I got this book and I will have to tell you, I was laughing. Sr. Karol has a great sense of humor and tells it like it surely is about religious life. You have to take the hard times with a grain of salt. Her refreshing and very sane look at religious life invites a new wave of Sr. Karols to take over the monasteries and I think that if they were all like her, there would be a lot more charism and awesomeness in religious life!

In 1964, Karol Jackowski was a spunky and popular high school senior who loved friends, music, and partying. She also loved the nuns who were her teachers and wanted to join them. This memoir follows the next seven years which were spent preparing to take her final vows. When she became a postulant, convent life had been unchanged for a hundred years; her days were spent in silence and prayer. Karol had to adjust to living in close quarters with sisters of all ages and personalities, without the essentials of her previous life (TV, radio, phones, cars, books, etc.) She never lacked for friends and fun, however, and maintained her outspoken personality even in the face of rigid conformity. After two years, the plans for modernization given by Vatican II began to revolutionize convent life. Gone was the habit as well as the all-powerful authority of the Superior. Sisters now made decisions as a group and restrictions on personal freedom were eased. Still, Karol worried that she might not be able to handle community life as a religious "forever and ever, amen." Her personal struggles and enthusiastic love of life make for fast, entertaining reading, light on religion with the emphasis on personal growth. After forty years as a nun, Karol views those first seven years as the most dramatic and rewarding of her life. A fun read.

When I first saw the dust jacket of FOREVER AND FOREVER, AMEN with it's photo of a young, blushing nun in a modified habit, with 1960's colors, I immediately thought it would be a WHERE ANGELS GO, TROUBLE FOLLOWS type tale, but there are no Rosalind Russell types as superiors in this book and Stella Stevens' Sr. George is hardly Sr. Karol Jackowski, so if you're looking for a gooey overly nostalgic view of convent life in the 1960's, this may not be your book. If you're looking instead for a story about a young woman who enters a novitiate as the changes of Vatican II are just about to begin, told with faith, perseverance, pluck, and humor, then you'll love FOREVER AND EVER AMEN. The young Karol Jackowski we meet at the beginning of the book is, in her opinion, an unlikely candidate for religious life. She enjoys life too much to be a nun, at least from her perspective, but something inside her in gnawing and won't be satisfied until she at least looks into joining the nuns who taught her in high school, the Sisters of the Holy Cross. The book then tells of her idealistic days as a postulant, the stringent years she spent in then novitiate, the troubling yet insightful years in the juniorate, and ends with her decision to take final vows. Her gift with words makes a reader feel present in the novitiate with Karol and her comrades, a credit to the fine writing in this book. The book is honest and well written. While Jackowski sees no need to return to the early days of her training, nor the upheaval that took place during her formation. She's at times critical of what happens, but she's also aware of how the training formed her to be the person she is today. She's appreciative of what she learned, and writes about the shortcomings with objectivity and at times sympathy. She genuinely cares about her fellow sisters, even the oddball characters she lived with from time to time. Perhaps what I appreciated most about this book was the inside view of convent life in the 1960's and how tumultuous it could be. It made me understand why some women chose to leave the convent and gave me a new admiration of those who persevered. This is an honest, witty, and compelling work that should be appreciated by anyone interested in Catholic religious life. Jackowski also pays attention to small details that could be lost on a reader not familiar with Catholic religious life which makes it reader friendly for people of all denominations.