Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to Therepublic

SO I found myself a mix of the Hexpatriate and the CROW. Not that this is a bad thing. Insightful and damn funny! If you own a new Volvo and go jogging with your golden retriever every morning, AND shop at Crate and Barrel, you will be offended. If you smoke American Spirits and chastise people for not buying all organic food, you will be offended. If you use any Tom's of Maine product and wear toe rings, you will be offended. If you can't laugh at yourself, you will be offended. It is a glorious book. The illustraor, Jeff Bechtel, is my new hero. His drawings are RIGHT ON.

Accompanied by hilarious illustrations, Food Court Druids, authored by Robert Lanham, is a mock sendup of scientific analysis of dozens upon dozens of grotesque American specimins that we've all seen in shopping malls, bowling alleys, high schools, the business office, etc. Lanham is a self-proclaimed idiosyncrologist who classifies individuals according the principles of idionyncrology. For example, here are some favorite specimens that are featured under Lanham's magnifying glass: 1. Happy Mondays--overbearing, needy bovine office workers with "overly earnest or maternal natures." 2. Office Lichens--needy geeks who are dead weight at the office and make their co-workers work harder to make-up for their sloth and incompetence. 3. TGIFs--emotionally retarded males who read Maxim and impose their obnoxious, adolescent masculinity on everyone in the office. 4. Alpha Weasels--backstabbing employees who act sycophantic to your face. 5. The Lifer--incompetent nincompoops who, inert in their comfort zone, never change jobs. 6. Sigmund Fruits--narcissists who feel compelled to tell you in detail their dreams as if their nocturnal visions are the most special events to be discussed. The accompanying illustrations seem to capture the very needy faces we've all seen at the office and elsewhere as we try to navigate around the various annoying specimens rendered in this very funny book. Finally, let me add that the author includes a website so that readers can contribute their own specimens, a list of which is posted on the website.

The weird, long title of this book struck a chord with me and I had to open it up to see more. It's REALLY funny. It classifies idiosyncratic people like Stretchibitionists (desperate women who stretch provocatively at the gym), Hexpatriates (think Susan Sarandon), Cherohonkees (whites obsessed with Native Americans), and my favorite Soccer Lilies (soccer moms with lesbian haircuts). It reads almost like an art book because there are so many great illustrations. I picked up a couple copies for Xmas gifts. I don't know if I was hip enough for the Hipster handbook, but i definitely recommend this really smart, funny book. The part about the freaks at the office is funny too. "Napoledrones" still cracks me up.

I picked up this book on impulse and my enjoyment of it was exceeded only by the fun I had listening to my teen-age nephew howl with laughter and then repeatedly read aloud from it as he recognized friends, neighbors, etc. The illustrations are amazing. The expressions drawn on the faces of the many types of people identified in this book, and the detail showing the incongruities between the facades people create and the real environment in which they operate, are as funny and insightful as the text.

This book is very funny. Robert Lanham has the eye for social types one meets in the world. This book is more expansive than the hipster handbook. The section about "how gay is your dog" is great. The drawings are impressive.