Finding Time For Fatherhood: Men's Concerns as Parents

Bruce Lindon is a licensed marriage and family therapist who draws upon his years of experience and expertise to provide men with insights into the emotional challenges confronting present-day dads in Finding Time For Fatherhood. With text ideal for the non-specialist general reader, each chapter is hallmarked with questions at the end to provide the reader with a chance to consider personal experiences and discuss the issues raised with their spouse, partner, or other dads. Finding Time For Fatherhood is a valued and much appreciated contribution to the growing library of parenting books in general, and male parenting in particular.

Bruce Linton's "Finding Time for Fatherhood" is a gem of truth, wisdom, and most of all compassion for the challenges that a father faces in today's world. As the father of a 10- year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter, I intended to give this book to my brother, who is expecting his first child. However, I ended up getting another copy for myself, because it became clear to me that this is a book that I will want to keep near and return to many times over, for inspiration and guidance in those times when I'm feeling overwhelmed by the anxieties and responsibilities of parenthood. This book was an acknowledgement of all the best intentions I have ever had toward my children, and at the same time a reminder of how much further I have to go. Probably like many fathers of my generation, I take for granted that I will be a better father to my son and daughter than my father was to me. According to the author, 95% of us attend the births of our children, versus 5% in 1965. We participate in childbirth classes, coach our wives through the delivery, and generally feel superior to our parents' generation in how much we are involved in what used to be a woman's exclusive world. Once the reality of fatherhood sets in, however, we discover that the real challenge is not so much a matter of measuring up to an ideal image of what a father should be, but the much more difficult problem of shifting our own priorities and making room in our lives for our roles as fathers. Dr. Linton demonstrates through examples from his personal experience as a father how uncomfortable this can be at times, yet how thoroughly rewarding in what that commitment ultimately can mean to our children, our spouses, and ourselves. This is a great little book - personal, conversational, and inspirational. Behind the gentle delivery is a powerful call to action for every man: Find the time to be a father to your children! In a modern-day career-driven social environment that prides itself on 16-hour workdays, stock options, and "cashing out" in your forties, being a Father competes with nearly everything, and yet when it comes to what is truly lasting, satisfying, and ultimately fulfilling in life, there is nothing else so rewarding.

If you could only give one gift this father's day, I recommend Bruce Linton's book Finding Time for Fatherhood. Dr. Linton's book ranks with what I think are the three top books on fatherhood today. The other two are The Gift of Fatherhood, by Dr. Aaron Hass, and Seven Effective Tools for Successful Fathers, by Dr. Ken Canfield. I am an African-American father working on my Ph.D. in education. I am specifically concentrating on the area of fathering. I've been writing a weekly dad's column for the past five years. Father of two boys, anything I can get to help me be a better father and help me understand manhood and fatherhood better is a welcomed addition to my collection. Dr. Linton's book is a recent addition as he gets underneath the importance of "finding time for fatherhood." His book is not inundated with empirical studies, it's written in a style that is designed to make men feel comfortable about getting in touch with their feelings. They need to know that it's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to live "in" today. It's okay to be nurturers. Linton's book, a collection of essays, poignantly describes his struggles as well as the struggles of other men who are trying to be something they were not taught to be---nurturing fathers. His essays discuss in very layman terms how important it is to love their mother, how important it is to live in the here and now, how important it is to talk to other fathers about fatherhood. All these ideas he talks eloquently about how they are essential in helping men become better men, and better fathers. The chapters are brief. He includes questions at the end of the chapters for fathers to contemplate what they can do. Reading chapter a day just before going to bed is an easy task to accomplish, and the benefits are a better understanding of the role of fathers, but also a better understanding of the role of being an active and involved parent who happens to be male. Using various analogies and anecdotes, Linton discusses how society works against fathers trying to be involved. In one scenario, he shares how a grandmother who sees him in the park after learning he has chosen to work only part-time just so he can be with his kids still doesn't understand his commitment to the role of father. The grandmother still hopes he will find regular work. It is perceptions such as these Linton talks about that leads to fathers understanding how entrenched the perception they have to work against is, but not something they can't overcome. One of the best chapters is how he talks about learning things from his nine year old son. After reading this book, my perception about fatherhood was greatly enhanced and modified. It's book to be read, re-read, and shared with other fathers. [email protected], AKA "Jeremy's Dad

As the father of a two-year-old son, I have read a dozen books on fathering in recent months, and Bruce Linton's Finding Time For Fatherhood is my favorite. Why? A new generation of men understand that fatherhood requires more than being an economic provider. Their desire to be involved, nurturing parents reflects a fundamental shift in male identity. They want more from life than a pay check and a promotion. They want meaning and purpose, and there is no greater contribution to the world than raising a healthy and happy child. Dr. Linton raises important issues concerning values and the father's inner experience. He writes simply and honestly, as only one who has truly lived and integrated the material can do. On several occasions he shares feelings that I, as a new father, feared were unique to me, which was reassuring and affirming. You can read this book in one evening, but the thoughts and feelings in it will stay with you for weeks. Highly recommended.--Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D., co-author with Robert A. Johnson of Balancing Heaven and Earth (HarperSanFrancisco, 1998) and Contentment: A Way to True Happiness (HarperSanFrancisco, April 1999).

This book shows the road ahead for fathers and expectant fathers. I have been looking for a book that could help me to cope and understand the awesome responsibility,joy and enlightenment of being a father. I wish my father had read this book. I refer to it often.