Finding Frances

When I finished Finding Francis and put it down, I sat and thought for a long time, something I rarely ever do. As I now look back, I can see now that something very important had just happened. Finding Frances is beautifully and gracefully written by Janice Van Dyck. The tightness of the story and the elegance of the prose, support a story that is very compelling and intensely personal to the reader. When I think back on the transporting experience of reading the book, and yes it is really is it is an experience, I am struck by the artistic mastery as well as the extraordinary human behavior understanding that so clearly underpins the story. While I suppose some would consider that this is a book about dying, I feel that it is a book about living. Frances' story importantly includes the reader in the experiences of her family. Through their voices the reader comes to see many other dimensions of this family saga. This family engagement gripped me, but by books end left me feeling like I had grown and learned something about the core of who I am. I felt like I had learned so much from this amazing life drama that Frances and her family experienced, but I had learned it without having lived through the actual experience. To my own amazement the book left me feeling uplifted, almost joyful. It left me feeling and desiring the gracefulness that Frances embodied. And it changed how I think and feel about my life. Frances showed me that I too can have courage, that I too can be gracious. I am no longer am struck by a deep sense of fear and foreboding when I consider my ultimate life's end. I am left with an underlying feeling of understanding and peace. Finding Frances is a very important book. In this age of massive information and amazing medical science capabilities we seem as a culture to only focus on ourselves and the medical and physical experience we have, or that our loved ones have. Our experiences tend to be hugely medically oriented, leaving a big emotional hole of avoidance, fear and anxiety. And no one guides us to understanding and embracing this crucial life event. Finding Frances opens a wide door to us to look at our own lives and passing's as an important living experience. Finding Francis takes us inside a life experience that will for many readers enable them to put themselves and their loved ones in balance with the medical system. Finding Frances puts the wonder of the real human life experience above the wonder of medical capability. When you close Finding Frances for the last time you may have soft tears in your eyes, but your heart will be smiling. Finding Frances is a must read for all of us, young, middle age and seniors. There is so much for all of us in this important work. It fills a huge void as a tool to understand the human family experience of life's end.

This is a wonderful book that will fascinate and help anyone comtemplating end of life issues. A great story about family relationships, communication and the emotional differences that inevitably develop among siblings.

As we approach middle age, most of us are faced with the aging of our parents. I thought this book really touched on this issue. None of us know how our lives will end and Frances had an option to make a decision as to how hers would end. It may not have been the decision that her husband or her children would have chosen, or would have wanted her to choose, but the great thing was that SHE got to choose her quality of life. It is a thought provoking book and it was very good for our book group discussion.

I found Janice VanDyke's "Finding Frances" to be a very timely, thought provoking and moving novel about the process of dying and its effect upon loving family members. She presents the full range of their emotions as well as the philosophical reasoning and way different cultures approach dying. Her book helps to clarify some of the issues facing our health system today as we examine the medical ethics of allowing one to choose to die with dignity. One feels great sympathy for the characters and their widely varying viewpoints and resultant behavior. I applaud Ms. VanDyke for her sensitive examination of this most difficult subject.

Suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease that makes breathing difficult, Frances is ready to join God. When her latest attack occurs, she lies down calmly waiting for God to embrace her and does not call her spouse Bill who remains in denial and would call 911. However, when death fails to come right away and the pain turns excruciating, she manages to get Bill to call 911. Frances needs emergency surgery to remove the infarcted bowel, but though she prefers to say no intrusive operation, she needs professional care that will be covered by insurance at the hospital but not at home. Frances pleads with her son William to allow her to die although she knows her husband and her other children will refuse. When the operation fails, her doctor wants a second try, but Frances says enough; she chooses a death with dignity decision opting for hospice care rather than hospital treatment, but her family wants her to reconsider. Avoiding melodrama, Finding Frances is a great family drama that looks deeply at the impact on everyone when a loved one is dying. Frances is the most adjusted due to her belief in the afterlife; her husband and three adult children cannot let her leave them without fighting for her to keep trying. Making a strong case for end of life counseling for a family, readers will appreciate Janice M. Van Dyck's insightful drama; as spending time with Frances and her family provides a profound timely look at dying. Harriet Klausner