Family Outing: What Happened When I Found Out My Mother Was Gay

Everything you never wanted to know about the inner workings of a teen mind obsessed with not only his sexuality but, fer godsake, his mother's! A quick read. Fascinating. Compelling. A book sorely needed for the homophobic, intolerent times we live in. Kudos to Troy and his blunt honesty.

Ten year old Troy Johnson was, as usual, late in getting ready for school, when a friend of his mother's (now irrevocably nicknamed "Tattle Dyke") came to the door and abruptly revealed to him that his mother was a lesbian. His father, previously divorced from his mom but still a part of Troy's life, arrived soon thereafter, in order to help Troy cope with the news. Despite an initial crying jag, both thought young Troy took the news rather well, and seemed to put first the need for his mother to be open and honest with Troy and his older sister. He was "all right with it" ... really. Or so he told them. In reality, Troy inwardly manifested the classic reactions to such news: anger at his mother for not being "normal," denial that this could somehow be changed (if he behaved real well and helped her meet a good man), aprehension that his friends at school would find out and taunt him, but, most of all, that ultimate fear that he somehow would inherit the "gay gene" (a concept that would not have any scientific support for many years) and turn out to be a homosexual himself. The latter was reinforced by later talks with his mother, who revealed that she didn't have an inkling she might be lesbian until after high school, and didn't know for sure until she was well into her 30's. He felt a "time bomb" ticking in himself. Troy dealt with his fear of "turning" gay by being as aggressively heterosexual as he could. To a preteen, this meant being one of the "cool" kids, a bad boy who got into trouble for acting out in class, and for vandalizing school property and nearby construction sites. In his teen years, he became a heavy "partier", a heavy drinker, and focused his powers of persuasion to have sex with any girl who would have him. Even a month's stay at a teen rehab facility didn't change him, nor did his first year of college. Only after almost being expelled from college, almost a year of hanging around with a group of "born again" Christian students, and being around an unusually liberal group of students in his major did he realize what he had been doing, simultaneously "acting out" to punish his mother for being lesbian, and trying to smother out whatever part of him might be leaning toward being gay. Long talks with a lesbian student made him realize how unfairly he was judging his mother, whose choice to be "out" had already resulted in others - including her own parents, and his sister - judging her harshly as well. It was a revelation that would affect him the rest of his life. Not your standard-issue "parent comes out, child understand, joins parent in waving rainbow flag in next parade" fictional story, and, as such, an invaluable and realistic commentary for those dealing the reality that they have a gay parent. The story is told realistically and with significant wit and charm by the author, and is much recommended as a great read. Five rainbow stars out of five.

My son called me to tell me to read this book, I can't thank him enough. I hope this author continues to write, he is amazing. This book is about him finding out , at age 10, that his mom is gay. It is HILARIOUS, moving, honest and impossible to put down once you start to read. I will keep this book because I know I will read it again, it is THAT GOOD!

Family Outing is a "memoir" worth reading. Troy Johnson, in his own inimitable style, fearlessly looks at himself, his family, and societal norms with remembered angst, tenderness, and wit. His ability to "hold the mirror" for all concerned is uncanny, and his sense of humor contagious. He is not afraid to tackle some of the issues of human sexuality - a still-taboo subject for many.....doing it with searing honesty, laugh-out-loud humor, and sensitive poignancy. He takes the words, 'gay'. 'lesbian' and 'homosexual' out of any politically correct dryness and brings them to life in an engaging, intimate talk with the reader. I highly recommend it!

Johnson, Troy. "Family Outing: What Happened when I Found Out My Mother Was Gay", Arcade Books, 2008. Coping With Sexuality Amos Lassen We need more books like Troy Johnson's "Family Outing" so others can understand what coping with sexuality is all about. Sure, straights have to cope but their problems do not seem as great as those having to cope with homosexuality. Johnson gives us a book that is brutal in its honesty and yet drolly funny as he explores what happens when a young boy discovers that his mother is gay. As a teen, Johnson was like most teens--obsessed with sex. His own coming of age was compounded when he learned that his mother was a lesbian. He questions her in his mind with the typical stereotypical ideas that many have about gay people as he questions his own sexuality. Like so many others who discover their sexuality--only this was not his, but his mother's, he wondered if he was the only one to have a gay mother. He agonized and worried and he even reached the point of hating his mom. He struggled and eventually accepted her and actually became a supporter of gay causes and took on the causes that dealt with sexual identity. He, as a young man, feared the homophobia that seemed to be everywhere and was targeted against his mother. His life was one of pain not just for himself but for his mother. He has grown up to become a heterosexual male but he grew up with a gay mother during the conservative Reagan years when AIDS was decimating out population and homosexuality was considered aberrant behavior. His book deals with the larger issue of sexual identity but then again this is a unique story. It was not an easy adolescence for Johnson but he describes it with both pain and humor and it reads very real and honest. Sexuality is no easy topic especially for teenagers who are the verge of so many discoveries. The teen years are years of anger and angst. It is only natural that Johnson experienced a degree of rage much like a mom and dad feels when first hear that a child of theirs is gay. Yet he managed to control his rage and his feelings and Johnson and his mother found ways to reconcile and understand and we learn what forgiveness is all about. "Family Outing" is an amazing read and it gives so much. We learn of love and tolerance, forgiveness and reconciliation and so much more.