Falling Into Manholes: The Memoir of a Bad/Good Girl

In her funny yet frank memoir, Wendy Merrill charts her path from good girl to one utterly out of control. Eating disorders, drinking, and codependency started to rule her life, and as a reader, you're hard pressed to decide which makes her the most out of control. For me, it was reading about her lending her boyfriend money, which soon became more money, that I just cringed for her. A part of me was thinking, "Why would an otherwise smart woman hand over her livelihood to some guy who clearly doesn't know what he's doing?" and yet Merrill not only makes you understand, I realized that I was so horrified precisely because in the same situation, I'd very likely do the same thing. When she goes through a codepedency (in her terminology, codeMENdency) checklist and hits pretty much every mark. It's horrifying that this went as far as $100,000 (yes, really), but even though you can see what's coming, you're with her. Merrill takes us everywhere from San Quentin to a sex and love addiction meeting, through various ill-fated affairs and many, many puns. The puns get a little corny by the end, but the book culminates with a powerful AA meeting where Merrill shows that she has learned from all she's been through. His isn't your typical recovery memoir, and Merrill's humor is at times a little too much, yet it's clearly her coping strategy. Kudos to her for bravely flexing her funny bone and detailing parts of her life that can't have been easy to relive. There were parts I could relate to from personal experience and others that even if I've never lived through something like it, I get it, because the pressures on so many women to be "good girls" to the exclusion of all else are tremendous and ridiculous. Any person who's ever felt that same pressure to be that mythological "perfect" will find something to relate to here.

I really enjoyed this book. The author was presented with some very tragic circumstances early in life that contributed to a lot of sadness and self-destructive behavior and addictions; however, she was able to convey her story with a fresh sense of humor. I would venture to say that the book jacket doesn't do justice to how deep this story actually is. I expected a very light read; however, it was rather heavy (but still funny!) This is a great story of picking one's self up. It takes a talented author to find the humor in such sad circumstances. Wendy Merrill has a great voice!

I have had the privilege of hearing Wendy share. She is unrelenting, brutally honest and exceptionally bright. I admire her courage and her ability to expose her deepest, darkest secrets in this not-for-the-faint-hearted memoir. She made me flinch more than once when I remembered a man I "dated" who needed money and I actually took out a personal loan ("I'll pay you back") and of course you know what happened, not to mention all the shameful secrets I still carry with me. I applaud Wendy for telling her emotional truth on the page and can only imagine how incredibly free she must be now.

I loved this book! It's so honest...I don't feel like I get a no-holds-barred glimpse into people's lives that often. The author has such a great way with words, I kept laughing out loud. This stuff is horrifying and funny all at the same time. I gave it to my boyfriend to read when I was done with it and he laughed more than I did. This is a light and easy read, so entertaining, but what surprised me was the depth of the insights, it's so rare that after reading a book you feel like you understand yourself and your life better, but that's what this book did for me. I've already bought extra copies to give to friends. Read this book...you won't be disappointed!

Wendy Merrill dares to go where few women have gone: to the soft underbelly we'd all like to hide. Addiction of various kinds, bulimia, definitely falling into MAN HOLES - but amazingly well served up with humor and pathos. Her book should help a lot of people - and make a lot of people laugh, which we all know is the best medicine.