Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose

This book has an interesting perspective on the human feeling called love, and the reasons why people fall in love. Of course at the end of the day its a perspective, and even if it is backed up with scientific research, tests..etc in my mind love is a subjective matter, and it's very hard to make generalities about such a topic. If you want to get answers to some of your questions, regarding human relationships, and interactions, this book will definitely give you interesting facts.

I ran into this book at a time when I was eager to learn more about the nature of romantic relationships. It is an excellent introduction and resumé of the voluminous psychological literature on romantic relationships, and specifically, the process of "falling in love." There are suggestions for self-help, but the reader wishing concrete advice will want to consult other books on the topic, in light of Pines's conclusions. I was impressed with her command of the literature and her extensive research and clinical experience; she is extraordinarily well qualified to have written this book. (Contrast this with something like _Are You the One for Me?_, a preposterously naive discussion of similar themes by someone -- DeAngelis -- who has no evident qualifications.) Ayala Pines has given us an excellent place to begin an exploration of our own and others' relationships. Its style is really not academic, and its tone is warm. No previous knowledge of psychology is necessary.

A combination of hundreds of studies, insights from the work of scholars across several fields, clinical experiences and observations culled from literature across the ages makes for a fascinating, and helpful, journey into discovering what makes us fall in love with people. Reading this book was a liberating experience. The recommendations at the end of each chapter are quite amusing because of the way that they are worded.

This book outlines practical, theoric and statistical data that clearly show you how you might be imprisioned by your own patterns of choosing a lover. A real eye opener for me. You are able to understand the difficulty of past or current relationships through identifying your personality type and personal traumas so that you clearly see why you are drawn to the people who are your lovers. She also states that studies have shown, partners who are of unequal phyiscal attractiveness more often than not have unsuccessful long term relationships with one another. It all is seeming to make sense now, isn't it? A smart/academic and informative read. And just really fascinating.

Reading this book was truly life changing for me. It has a unique combination of what researchers have found in studies, and what the author has found from her doing couples therapy. I don't think I've ever read a book that helped me so much to understand my own longstanding patterns of the guys I end up with!! Who knew there was method to the madness!! Just wonderful, and highly recommended.