Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change

I am tired of hearing that 70 is the new 50 and 50 is the new 40. Aging is natural no matter what we do to try to freeze the march of time. But its also confusing to feel stronger and ageless, when the mirror is a constant reminder of the physical changes in our body and face. Face It is a thoughtful book written by therapists that helps us examine our feelings as we experience how the inevitable aging process impacts on our appearance. It's not about quick fixes but about understanding our underlying sense of self worth in terms of how we look. It guides us through a process which gives us the emotional confidence to make the right decisions for ourselves in how we each chose to deal with these changes.

I really loved this book. It is not a book about about staying beautiful nor is it a book full of trite pop psychology mantra about how beauty is within. The truth is that we do possess inner beauty but in this culture, our outer beauty is still important. The authors have an incredible insight on the psychological effects of women aging. As a former beautiful co-ed turned middle age suburban housewife/professional counselor/mother, I couldn't agree more with the authors take on beauty and the aging woman. We go through an "Uh-oh" moment and thus begins our journey. For me it was when the cute guy flirted shamelessly and I realized his target was my little girl. Little meaning 14 years old and 5'7". The authors' approach to the aging process is to resolve the beauty paradox. Through specific steps and anecdotal evidence based on their combined years of private practice, the authors guide the reader through the process. Frankly, the steps could be used for any life altering event. Step 1. Turn Uh-Oh moments into Ah-ha moments. Step 2. The only mask you wear should be made of honey and yogurt. Essentially, aging is not a dirty word. Come out of hiding and accept the outer self you are becoming Step 3. Talk back to your internal dialogues. What is the message you are hearing in your head? Reframe it. Step 4. Give Mom her due. Take the best of her and leave the rest behind. Her aging process is not the same as your own. The cultural experiences are different. It's not your mother's fault. Or your father's. Or your own. Again, reframe the experience. Step 5. Use adolescent memories instead of repeating them. Remember how awkward we felt growing into our bodies and fashions? Avoid the impulsive decisions we made back then. Step 6. Saying Goodbye is hard to do. But saying goodbye to something is the first step to saying hello to another. The authors provide excellent and personal insight into the journey of the aging woman. The aging woman can be anybody from 23 to 93. The authors are really guiding the reader in accepting any kind of change that is difficult. Highly recommend this book to anybody - but especially the woman of any age going through tumult due to aging, infidelity of either partner, illness, etc.

This slim little volume is a deep book. The authors explain how women today have many years left to live, but are afraid to go there. We all have the day where we realize the world no longer sees us as we see ourselves, and little bit of us kind of dies inside. We can't look to our mothers as role models, they weren't forced to pretend they were eternally 20 to remain in the game. As the authors point out, we can't pretend to be eternally 20 either. We owe it to ourselves and our daughters to model a better way of growing older. Letting go of our youthful image, say the authors, "does not mean denying youth or repressing youthful memories. [As in adolescence] it means saying goodbye [to your young version of yourself] to make room for what comes next." We all know our culture links youth with beauty; the authors tell us not to punish ourselves for trying to live up to such an unreasonable standard. We can't get any younger, it's just not gonna happen. So how do we face the fear--the real fear here--of becoming unloved, unlovable, marginalized, dead-to-the-world, still-walking-around female human beings? These galz give us a road map. I can't do it justice in this short review, but I think their case studies and practical suggestions are gold. When young women can't imagine what they'll do with their lives after they turn 50, then we need to show them. It's the least we can do for them, and ourselves.

As a woman reaching the magical time of middle age, the subtitle of this book intrigued me. We all age and, while we can all try and slow the process, it still happens. Our society today puts a lot of pressure on women to be young, beautiful and slim. Most books that you read on this subject discuss how you can slow the process, but this book, "Face It", actually teaches you how to accept it and be happy. It is a guide to help you understand, feel better, and take advantage of your changing looks. This quote from the book summarizes what the book does, "The knowledge you gain as you read Face It will give you a step-by-step plan that maps out how to manage your feelings about your changing appearance." As you read the book, you will meet woman and hear their stories, their feelings, and how they dealt with the challenge of aging. You will find a variety of different feelings expressed and you may find that what you read perfectly describes how you feel. At the end of each chapter, there are questions for you to consider. It is a book that we would recommend for any woman who looks in the mirror and discovers that they are not happy with the way they are changing. Some quotes from Face It: "To truly understand beauty is to view it as a combination of objectivity and perception, as a science and an art." "It's time we use our knowledge, experience, and fortitude to change the way we deal with our changing looks." "The challenge: can we keep youthful optimism in our hearts and minds while letting our faces follow their natural course?" "When there is a shift in self-image - in the very basic way we see ourselves - we feel something fundamental change within us, whether we are aware of its origin or not." "Watching others age seems more gradual, while our own shift is jarring." "We celebrate many transitions in life, like graduations, confirmations, bat mitzvahs, weddings, pregnancies. Yet we watch people pass through the latter part of their lives with little or no celebration of that achievement. "

Ever feel like you are still 20-30 years old and then you look in the mirror and wonder, "where the heck did this face come from"? With culture in the US, especially with all of the reality shows like the Real Housewives, magazines telling us why we should get that face life now and being pounded day after day with the necessity for a youthful face, it is amazing any of us can even get out of bed each day. This is the right book at the right time for women my age. The book provides 6 steps for you to work through your own phobias about what your look like and how to accept it. I really recommend this book to any one having these issues and if you are a woman of a certain age, I bet just like me, you are having these thoughts!