"Excuse Me, But I Was Next...": How to Handle the Top 100 Manners Dilemmas

I think this book helps deal with some of the upscale modern rudeness of today. Living in Southern California is a Real challange to ones patience and older style of upbringing.

I selected this book on a lark, fully expecting my interest to wane somewhere around page 25. Surprisingly, I not only finished the book but recommended it to a friend. The book covers 100 etiquette dilemmas that turn up in everyday life. Everything from what constitutes black tie and white tie down to whether an e-mail thank you is ever appropriate. Others topics include what is reasonable to expect on a toddler play date, whether to invite siblings to a children's birthday party, how to set a proper formal table and what to tip your nanny. Also, whether black and white are appropriate colors at weddings and whether bright colors can be worn at funerals. The tone of the book is far from the censorious or supercilious tone one might expect from an etiquette manual. To Peggy Post, etiquette is used to make others feel comfortable and to prevent hurt feelings that can ruin a group's ability to enjoy itself. Etiquette is not meant as a sieve by which one artificially separates class from trash. It is primarily aimed at considering the feelings of others. It is not about enforcing class distinctions, moral codes or gender or age norms. The right person to open a door is whoever gets there first. It is perfectly fine for women to offer to assist men who are struggling under a load of packages. And so on. Post even tackles "moralish" questions about whether to say grace at a dinner party and whether to follow along with the religious practices of another faith at weddings or funerals. The message is clearly to be oneself in a way that does not insult the other party. Post also breaks some new ground in the contentious areas of whether to wear white after Labor Day. But you'll have to read the book to get that scoop. Peggy Post's book is delightful, urbane, gracious and charming -- not at all stuck up. It is full of wonderful examples that model proper responses to uncomfortable situations. Wait till you hear her response to a person asking nosy questions about an adopted child! Her response was perfectly clear, it set boundaries, but did so without a trace of cruelty. Just what you'd expect from a book on proper behavior. I particularly enjoyed Susan Bennett's narration. She gave voice to the firm-yet-fun voice of Peggy Post without sounding smug or superior.

Ms. Post covers "the top 100 manners dilemmas" with a gracious style that is practical and appropriate for today's culture. Mostly common sense, these are worthwhile as reminders and provide a helpful look in the mirror for a little personal brushup. Every reader will have some kind of "aha!" moment as the author offers a treasure chest of polite and gracious responses to awkward situations. My favorite was the ultimate, polite rebuff to nosy questions: "why do you ask?" The book lives up to the classic comment on manners from Emily Post: "Good manners reflect something from inside - an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." It's an easy and worthwhile read.

We all have situations where we have to deal with rude people, or are not sure about the proper etiquette for an awkward situation, or just need a pointer on how to do something properly. With related topics organized together the book is laid out in a question and answer fashion. First the author presents a common question and then provides the appropriate answer. Sometimes there are additional related comments to further expand the reader's understanding. Some of the subjects are: Inappropriate questions and how to respond to them, Conversational blunders, Name Amnesia, Gifting at Work, Breakup Basics, Introductions, Dating Etiquette, Table Manners, Reservations, Tipping, Airplane Manners, being a good host, dealing with houseguests that won't leave, wedding presents, receiving lines, wedding showers, sending funeral flowers, hospital visits, and funeral dress. The book addresses both traditional situations where the average person might find their self as well as more contemporary situations. This is etiquette in the modern world and for the average person. Excuse Me, But I Was Next is a recommended read.

This is the latest book from the Emily Post Institute, the established authority on all things etiquette. Some might wonder about the relevance of an etiquette book to the 21st century, but in her introduction, author Peggy Post explains that the Institute continues to receive thousands of questions every month. In this book, Peggy sets out to answer some of the most common of those questions, ranging from the more traditional ("What do I do when I'm introducing someone and suddenly forget their name?") to the thoroughly modern ("I met my boyfriend through an online dating service..."). Post has organized one hundred of the most popular etiquette questions into fifteen main categories: Conversations: The Good, The Bad, and The Awkward; How Rude!; "Delighted to Meet You"; Manners at Work; Getting the Word Out; The Perfectly Polite Date; Family Matters; Kid Stuff; Let's Eat!; "Reservations, Please"; Out and About; It's Party Time!; Gifts Galore; Wedding Bells; and In Sad Times. Each section contains anywhere from two to twelve or more questions about that topic. The general format is that the question is presented ("When eating family-style, which way should food be passed?"), the basic answer is given ("Technically, food is passed around the table in a counterclockwise direction, or to the right."), and finally, some additional information/guidelines are included ("Top Dinner-Table Manners Goofs"). Given this book's extremely easy-to-read format and rather short length ( So, although this is a well-written, generally likable little book, it is probably not a necessary or relevant one for most people. However, if you find yourself frequently facing etiquette dilemmas and at a loss for exactly how to respond, this simple manual might be just what you need. So, 4 stars for quality, 3 stars for content, and an overall score of 3.5 stars.