Everything I Know about Women I Learned from My Tractor

Love, Sex, and Tractors When asked to define love, I could not find my tongue. I wished to expound on its nature. To praise a woman whose beauty has launched a thousand ships, and men have fought, and bled, and gotten sepsis and scurvy over. Perhaps Ovid said it best: "Love, it is a kind of warfare." Yup, just like a man to compare love with battle, but within the minds of men it is. We struggle with our pride, pay homage to our honor, and seek an answer in our hearts. But love isn't an action movie. We don't get to blow anything up or have car chases, and the only thing a man risks breaking is his heart. Nope, men just don't understand women. It's not our fault. Women attend "Women School." You don't think it's a coincidence that all women say the same things, demand the same things and complain about the same things? Yep, women old and young thin and fat, mothers and daughters. They're alike because they have all attended women school. What do you think they're doing in the ladies room? It doesn't take five gals to go to the bathroom. It's a class called confusing men 101. You'd like to tilt the balance. You could grab one of those relationship books from the self-help section, but they are mostly written by women for women. Wouldn't you like to read a book from the male perspective? If you have an easier time understanding how a carburetor works than the female brain, then you don't have to look any farther than Roger Welsch author of Love, Sex and Tractors and the instructive follow-up Everything I Know About Women, I Learned From My Tractor. Welsch is a folklorist, humorist, and writer who has appeared on the CBS News Sunday Morning program with a segment called "Postcards from Nebraska". Love, sex and tractors? You betcha. When a man writes about tractor repair, he is writing about love sex and relationships, and when a man is writing about love, sex and relationships, he is writing about tractor repair. The way a guy approaches these tasks is pretty much the same. Folks, these are not books filled with hypothetical theories written by therapists with more letters behind their names than a bowl of alphabet soup, but practical advice by a guy who's been banished to the workshop with nothing but a pillow and a pair of fluffy, bunny slippers. Roger gives real and practical spousal survival hints and explains exactly where you screwed up and how to fix it. You might as well face it. Sooner or later, probably sooner, you are going to mess up. It really doesn't matter what you have done wrong. Or that you have done anything wrong at all. Although, if you are a typical, red-blooded male, you have almost certainly done something wrong, and that is where the male generic apology comes in. This is one handy piece of advice that you should laminate and carry with you at all times. Old Roger reveals the mysteries of life, love and axle grease. With his shop manual of love, he will guide you through the language of love (men and women speak a dif

Much like the advice from the "This Old House" series, the joy of finding written (rather than oral) lessons from Dads to the next generation of sons as promised by the author could not be a greater gift for Father's Day than to share the wisdom of the ages through the best and the worst advice children ever received from their dads. How natural a life passage by making it possible for all young lads to elevate themselves to the heights of living and to help them focus upon what is important in life, from one who has been there. Because there are all kinds of dads as much as there are all kinds of children, these reflections on living are welcome to every generation, and far beyond, and perhaps they are necessary in days where work continues to demand so much of our time. Posterity doesn't happen by accident, and kids need to know that too.

I currently have only one wife, yet have been tractorless for several years. The reading of most of Capt'n Nebraska's books will point out the error of this in the pursuit of a balanced life style.Ode To The Out House inspired me to buy a shovel...the "Tractor Series" gave a finishing touch to the questions I've sought answered since puberty.I plan one day, to make the pilgrimage to Dannebrog, NE [the home of Roger Welsch] to bask in the shadow of greatness, see the Liar's Hall...and hope for free lunch at the tavern.

If you are looking for another collection of Roger's wonderful tractor stories, you will be disappointed. BUT, that's OK, because this isn't a book about tractors. This is a book about guy's who like stuff like tractors trying to understand the gals who don't like stuff like tractors (as much as they do). I did miss the tractors, but when he gives "real-life" examples of what he has learned about women, his usual wry sense of humor and terrific story telling ability comes through, and I was sad to reach the last page. If what you are looking for is a relationship book your tractor man might actually read and understand, ladies, this is the one. Guys, if you are looking for someone who understands the ups and downs of living with women (or trying to), and has some advice on how to cope with our strange behavior, here it is. And this is coming from a woman who would rather the tricks we learn in Woman School remain shrouded in mystery! I'm sure my beloved tractor nut, for whom I purchased this book, will spend hours laughing over Roger's theories.